1.
Goal in focus Find old 43T friends 113 people are doing this
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1 entries 7 cheers
24/02/2017
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Muse-ic 2 people are doing this
1 entries 1 cheer
15/06/2017
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This goal doesn’t have any items
1 entries 1 cheer
13/05/2017
  • taylor
    taylor Doing 2 cheers 2017-06-06 20:32:52

    Married nearly 33 years, and you know how that can go -- always in love but ... glowing embers rather than dancing flames. Then a few weeks ago, something combustible fell into the fire. It's like we're newlyweds again. :-)

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4.
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2 entries 2 cheers
19/04/2017
Every Day
  • taylor
    taylor Doing 0 cheers 2017-05-01 19:55:10

    The hardest thing in the world is turning the knob counter-clockwise at the end of a hot shower to make it cold, then stand there for 60 seconds. After starting this goal I did it every shower for about a week, but now I'm down to every other time.

    There are also some breathing exercises that go along with the conditioning, where you breathe deeply for 30 breaths, almost hyperventilating, then blow out and hold your breath for as long as you can. I've nearly reached two minutes a couple of times, but have to work up to it. The exercise produces a real inner peace.

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  • taylor
    taylor Doing 2 cheers 2017-04-19 16:59:43

    So I read this article about how exposing yourself to cold temperatures is good for your circulation system: http://articles.mercola.com/sites/articles/archive/2017/04/16/environmental-conditioning.aspx
    The guy interviewed does a bunch of extreme stuff (which I probably wouldn't do myself) but the article says you can do small things like turning your shower from hot to cold for the last minute.
    I've tried this two or three times now, and it's quite invigorating. Living in Wisconsin, it can get pretty chilly. Conditioning myself to better tolerate the cold could be helpful.

    How Environmental Conditioning Helps Tap Evolutionary Strengths
    Environmental conditioning can improve your health by boosting mitochondrial function and metabolic efficiency.
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5.
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5 entries 3 cheers
23/03/2017
  • taylor
    taylor Doing 1 cheers 2017-06-12 19:36:15

    True story. Last week we were in the parking garage after a show, walking up the stairwell. We stop at a floor where I think the car is. She says it's up a level. I say, no it's right over there. We walk toward where I think the car is, and it's not there, of course, so we turn around. A pair of women who were behind us say: "Always listen to the woman."

    So apparently I still have some work to do on this goal.

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  • taylor
    taylor Doing 1 cheers 2017-05-01 19:49:48

    I'm really disappointed in myself for not following this goal better. Our mud-room building project has been a series of missteps, usually because I haven't listened to her well. I must do better!

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  • taylor
    taylor Doing 12 cheers 2017-04-19 17:57:05

    The other day, orange spray paint and little white flags appeared on the boulevard between our sidewalk and the street, showing where underground cables are buried. My wife said, maybe the city's going to do something there. I said, that can't be, they've seen that we have black plastic covering the ground and think we're going to be digging, so they're just making sure we don't hit something.
    Yesterday, a six-foot-tall oak tree appeared on the boulevard, planted by the city. Surprise!
    The tree is a good thing, but also a reminder that I need to listen to my wife and not dismiss her ideas because I think I know better.

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  • taylor
    taylor Doing 0 cheers 2017-04-14 21:55:47

    Still working on this. I need to stop and breathe sometimes and listen, especially when we're working together on something.

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  • taylor
    taylor Doing 4 cheers 2017-03-23 20:44:44

    My wife's a very smart woman, but on occasion, I don't listen to her advice because I think I know better about something. Or, I don't pay attention when she's talking to me. Usually, it comes back to bite me in the butt.

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    • ligemst
      ligemst 0 cheers 2017-03-23 21:01:06

      @taylor That's very big of you to admit that here. Would you admit it to her? πŸ˜‰ My husband will periodically see that he should listen to me about some things. Eventually he does, but he tries to make it seem like he came up with the advice rather than me.

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6.
Write a book 218 people are doing this
This goal doesn’t have any items
0 entries 4 cheers
07/03/2017
7.
This goal doesn’t have any items
1 entries 3 cheers
07/03/2017
  • taylor
    taylor Doing 5 cheers 2017-03-07 20:18:56

    I learned this poem by e.e. cummings in 7th or 8th grade as part of a "readers theater" group. Today, 40 years later, somebody said "little by little" to me, and I thought, "was by was" in my head, and remembered the poem.

    anyone lived in a pretty how town

    anyone lived in a pretty how town
    (with up so floating many bells down)
    spring summer autumn winter
    he sang his didn’t he danced his did

    Women and men (both little and small)
    cared for anyone not at all
    they sowed their isn’t they reaped their same
    sun moon stars rain

    children guessed (but only a few
    and down they forgot as up they grew
    autumn winter spring summer)
    that noone loved him more by more

    when by now and tree and leaf
    she laughed his joy she cried his grief
    bird by snow and stir by still
    anyone’s any was all to her

    someones married their everyones
    laughed their cryings and did their dance
    (sleep wake hope and then) they
    said their nevers and slept their dream

    stars rain sun moon
    (and only the snow can begin to explain
    how children are apt to forget to remember
    with up so floating many bells down)

    one day anyone died I guess
    (and noone stopped to kiss his face)
    busy folk buried them side by side
    little by little was by was

    all by all and deep by deep
    and more by more they dream their sleep
    noone and anyone earth by april
    wish by spirit and if by yes.

    Women and men (both dong and ding)
    summer autumn winter spring
    reaped their sowing and went their came
    sun moon stars rain

    e . e. cummings

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8.
This goal doesn’t have any items
0 entries 4 cheers
02/03/2017
9.
This goal doesn’t have any items
2 entries 6 cheers
28/02/2017
  • taylor
    taylor Doing 3 cheers 2017-03-31 20:51:52

    This isn't going to be an easy weekend. One year ago, my wife's mom died of cancer. It's been a rough year, and I've tried to help her through it. I hope I've given it my best.

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    • wyverndust
      wyverndust 2 cheers 2017-03-31 21:19:58

      @taylor I hope you and your wife can celebrate your mother in law's life in time. I often wonder how my boyfriend and I will cope when one of our parents will eventually die. I know it won't be easy. Sending you and your wife a lot of supportive thoughts and wishes

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      • taylor
        taylor Doing 1 cheers 2017-04-07 21:49:21

        @wyverndust Thanks, Wyv! We certainly do try to celebrate Mom's memory. On Saturday we went out to a restaurant where we had taken her several years ago the only time she was able to visit us. On the whole, I'd say the weekend went well.

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  • taylor
    taylor Doing 1 cheers 2017-02-28 21:33:49

    We've been together many years, but I'm still not very good at calming my wife down when she's panicking or worried about something. Saying that everything's going to be OK doesn't work with her -- she thinks I'm too calm. Is it possible to calm someone down by being as panicked as she is? I don't want to pretend to be panicked.

    Friends, what works to calm you down in a crisis?

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    • View more replies...
    • BeingBryn
      BeingBryn 2 cheers 2017-03-05 12:45:53

      @taylor Aww. πŸ™‚ I'll try to think of some strategies... what kinds of things get her panicked or worried?

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    • taylor
      taylor Doing 1 cheers 2017-03-07 20:20:57

      @BeingBryn Appreciate any help you can give! Things like approaching storms, medical appointments, fear of loss, etc.

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    • wyverndust
      wyverndust 2 cheers 2017-03-08 03:22:44

      @taylor I am high strung and I need a lot of calming. However, I get upset when someone tells me to calm down. Holding me does help. Calmly talking to me and distracting me from my fear helps a lot. I also get very frustrated when my loved ones think I am panicked, even if my level of worry is mild. Some well meaning loved ones think I am completely panicked when I am just concerned at a normal level. This is a very sensitive area for me, but the best tactic to help me is talking calmly and distracting me and not lecturing me or trying to appeal to my logic. Good luck and great job for helping bring more calm to the world!

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    • ligemst
      ligemst 2 cheers 2017-03-23 21:08:51

      @taylor I can be an easily panicked person, or maybe it's reactive. However, over the years, I've learned to listen to my husband here. Sometimes I don't even realize that I'm being panicked. He talks with me quietly and helps me to logically realize that I'm just being overly reactive.

      He does refer me to resources that I already use like EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique or aka tapping), take some of my Bach Remedy (flower essence thing), deep breathe, pray to God, tell me to sit quietly.

      I do go weekly to professional counseling that utilizes EMDR, so using that, we reprogram my brain. Since I've had a lot of trauma in my life, the EMDR has been great to help me reprogram my brain to respond differently to "panic" situations. Now I can add acupuncture treatments to help change the energy in my body regarding specific things.

      Like with Wyvie, holding me helps a lot. My husband will sometimes just hold me until he can feel me relax some.

      Hope some of these things may be able to help you with your wife. I also, like Wyvie, can be quite high strung. However, I'm learning to NOT be in that mode. It's taking awhile, but we are chipping away at all those things that make me that way.

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      • taylor
        taylor Doing 1 cheers 2017-04-07 21:46:25

        @ligemst Thank you. I've heard of EFT, but never really done it. Maybe we should look into it more. I appreciate you taking time to reply!

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        • ligemst
          ligemst 0 cheers 2017-04-07 22:37:40

          @taylor Yes, do that. There is a lot of free stuff online or affordable stuff. Also, if some of the panic stuff is due to really bad trauma, it might be a good idea to go see a professional specialized to deal in trauma and use EFT within the session. πŸ™‚

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0 entries 5 cheers
24/02/2017
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