ligemst replied on 2017-05-16 14:06:30

Do you ever feel that common courtesy is becoming a thing of the past?

I ask, because yes, sometimes I do. And now, we have a P......we have a Pr......a Pres......I can't even say it. Because he isn't remotely presidential. He is a buffoon. And I am being kind, I am displaying common courtesy and behaving respectfully towards The Office even as I have no respect for the man.

Anyway.......so now there's this person sitting as leader of the free world who is rudeness and insensitivity incarnate. As such, a very, very poor example of civility, courtesy, communication, respect, tolerance. He is but an example of what I feel has been happening to the people in my country for the last ten.....fifteen years. When, and why did the tide turn in my America and my compatriots become so utterly lacking in common courtesy?

(Can you tell I have spent the better part of two days dealing with difficult people with no manners? LOL But seriously, thoughts?)

Do you ever feel that common courtesy is becoming a thing of the past?

I ask, because yes, sometimes I do. And now, we have a P......we have a Pr......a Pres......I can't even say it. Because he isn't remotely presidential. He is a buffoon. ...Read More

  • @beequeen I hear you about your . . . electoral college winner. I am flabbergasted that he won. I know people voted for him for a wide variety of reasons, but that fact that so many did makes me think much, much less of your country as a whole. A big part of that is agreement or at the very least the pass given to the sexism, racism, the mocking of those with opposing views (ironically given his many hipocratic views), the degradation of mentally handicapped . . . on display during the campaign. Which is just not befitting of a person let alone a leader. The FACT that so many people voted for him makes me seriously not want to set foot in your country.

    But that is bit off the question. I have to say I am not sure. I see an ebb and flow. I live in Canada and part of national identity is to be polite and out in the world I do find most people to be generally fairly polite. In my past travels to America I found people engaging and polite for the most part, but perhaps they were just responding to me. The only rude thing I found was the response to 'thank-you' but I figure the 'uh-huh' is just the culturally conditioned response.

    If I had to say, overall in the world we are trending towards a greater understanding and respect for others on a whole. Which, in the end, will result in a more polite world. The Trump win and Brexit are a fear response to that trend. But that could easily get derailed. I hope in 50 years that leaders like Trump and Putin will be seen as desperate last gasps of antiquated nationalistic, racist, sexist, noninclusive thinking that has plagued the world for far too long. That is my greatest hope.

    @beequeen I hear you about your . . . electoral college winner. I am flabbergasted that he won. I know people voted for him for a wide variety of reasons, but that fact that so many did makes me think much, much less of your country as a w ...Read More

    • @Airos

      Yes. I am appalled. I am disappointed in my compatriots for their short sightedness, and their acceptance of someone for whom the bar of standards and integrity has been set so low all he need do is slither under it to garner their applause and approval. I am left utterly gobsmacked by the fact that there are women out there who voted for and support him, and that men and women still continue to do so even though he is clearly uninformed, and mentally and emotionally unstable.

      I truly hope that you are right re the world trending toward greater understanding and respect toward one another individually and culturally. I am typically a glass half full rose colored spectacles kinda gal in love with the life and living, and I want to continue to be.

      @Airos

      Yes. I am appalled. I am disappointed in my compatriots for their short sightedness, and their acceptance of someone for whom the bar of standards and integrity has been set so low all he need do is slither under it to garner their ...Read More

      • @beequeen Then I am one of the people you're disappointed in. I voted for Trump for a myriad of reasons. None of the reasons I voted for were because of maybe his mannerisms that I do not care for. I'm not going to get into a debate or anything with you nor anyone else.

        BTW, I'm not offended at what you wrote or your opinion. It's your opinion and it's certainly fine by me regarding your opinion. But, I'd just like to share that maybe many people whom you think voted for Trump were idiots, really aren't. They are every day people that were sick of what was happening to our country and wanted someone that was very different. People gave Obama a chance and he didn't follow through in the 8 yrs. he was in office.

        I consider myself and many others, too, both on the liberal as well as conservative side, think that I'm a pretty decent person. I'm not an idiot, nor brainless. I'm a very hard working, intelligent, educated woman who is married with children. My husband and I pay our fair share of taxes, which is quite a bit, but we don't try to pay more than we legally need to. And, we are generous people and do save a portion of our money to help other people out.

        We live peacefully with our neighbors and try to be a good influence and contributors to our world. We correct and discipline our children. We generally have a positive home environment, but when correction and discipline are needed, we do so. Our children are model students whom get really great grades, volunteer, help others out, are very talented.

        People compliment us all the time on how well mannered our kids are, and today I got a compliment on how nice and courteous I was. Also, when I was at the grocery store I frequent, I left without paying for something accidentally. A bag of raw almonds (about $5 worth). I had gotten to my car and saw that sitting in the basket. I was in a hurry but I went back into the store and paid for it.

        No one but God would have known that it wasn't paid for when I walked out to the parking lot, but that would have been stealing and wrong. I always do the right thing no matter what the inconvenience or how hard is it. I can bet that the majority of people would have let it slide and said, the store can handle the loss. What would you have done? It was hot, windy, and I was already behind schedule.

        My kids have been yelled at for them holding the door for others as a common courteous thing, especially my son. We let people all the time go ahead of us in line at the store. We see someone that needs an extra hand, we help them. We throw trash in the trash can. We put the baskets back where they are supposed to be or shopping carts. We don't litter.

        That is the norm for us and not the exception. If you asked my children what they are grateful for, they could easily name off literally hundreds of things they are thankful for because it's something I've been doing with my kids for years every day - verbally sharing our gratitudes.

        We help out the homeless and other people that just maybe have fallen on hard times regardless of their political, religious or whatever views. We view people as human beings and aren't threatened by whatever their views are (unless they are trying to harm us). We teach our children good boundaries and we try to have those in our lives and homes.

        We sit nearly daily for family dinners all together at the dinner table - no electronics, and we just talk and eat. I am not emotionally unstable, however, there maybe be times that I can be as I have two teenagers and that can challenge many people. We are actively every day helping our children become their best.

        I am not easily offended and worked in some pretty tough environments were there was not only sexual harassment, maybe some racial discrimination, sexist views . . . but, instead of being bitter about it and forcing others to my views by bashing them, calling them names, etc., I decided the best way to change people's minds were to be a decent, kind, courteous person that treated everyone well no matter what. I decided I would be the best I could be with God's help, and do the best job as a female mechanical engineer working in a very male dominated, old schooled world. I would work hard, longer, produce better results. No one has anything bad to say about me, because I was an excellent engineer and employee.

        I was very successful in my career for 15 yrs until I chose to stay home with my kids who were pretty young then. That was 10 yrs ago I made that decision. It was a challenge to integrate from being a mechanical engineer to being a homemaker. I faced discrimination also from moms whom had never worked out in the corporate world in such a harsh environment and thought I could not relate to them.

        The thing was, I chose for a period of time to not relate because of my own pride. Now, having been a homemaker for the past 10 yrs, I can tell you it's pretty challenging and probably even more challenging than my mechanical engineering career, in some respects. I had to change how I view people and when I did, even if their opinions were far different than mine, my relationship with them changed for the better. I win people to love me no matter where I am because I treat people well.

        It wasn't me against them, but it was US working together for the greater good. Wanting for the failure of Trump means wanting for the U.S. to fail. I never want any POTUS to fail, no matter what the party or policies.

        Maybe the things you've seen of Trump are bad, but I've seen many speeches and times he's interacted with others to be good and that he's been very gracious, especially to our military and those whom have sacrificed for this country. Has he lost his temper and said things that he shouldn't have? Yes. Have you? I have. I know, he's a public figure and you're not and he should be able to control himself better. Well, he didn't, but I see many good things he is doing.

        When Obama was President and I did not vote for him either times, I still prayed for him to do things that were good for our country to make it a better place to live. I've seen things forced on me that I didn't want and we have to live with. Okay, that's fine, but when I voted, I wanted to make sure that we weren't going to have another 4 more years of that.

        Ask yourself why would half the country choose to vote for Trump? The media had said that Hilary was a sure thing and that she had in some polls over 90% of the voters voting for her. Do you think the media might have been lying or the pollsters?

        And apparently half the country thought so, too. The thing is, life isn't always fair and if we keep whining about what isn't fair instead of doing good things to make life better, what good is that doing? It's just stirring up more trouble. I felt with Obama, so many things were made to be racial that didn't need to be. I was called a racist a number of times for not voting for Obama.

        I would not vote for someone who's policies are against what I stand for and it has nothing to do with ethnicity. My 2nd husband is Black and my children are half Black and half Chinese. My first husband was a red-headed Irishman. My current husband is Colombian. I highly doubt I'm racist. And many of the people that have called me racist, well, they would never have the racial diversity that I've had in my own family. So who is racist? Why do I have so many husbands? Well, my life's journey has had some pitfalls and bad choices, and I'm learning on this journey. Learning more quickly as I age.

        Dr. Ben Carson is who I wanted for POTUS. It wasn't because he's Black, but because of the policies he stood for. Unfortunately, he was not the Republican Presidential candidate. Would I vote for a woman as POTUS? Yes, but not Hilary. I never respected her even from the time her husband was POTUS. Why would I vote for her as President?

        Is there a woman I would vote for as President? I like Condoleezza Rice. I vote for the person that best represents my policies. I can handle if they don't say things in the way I'd like. I'm not so fragile that I'll break. We've also taught our own kids to not be so fragile and that not everything has to be feel good.

        If you need everything to be feel good, it's fine. But I've found raising kids to think life has to be fair is a disservice. Raising kids to believe that life is fair, is really lying to them. Raising kids to not have good, healthy boundaries, to not be corrected or disciplined, or to be responsible people . . . well, not good. Raising kids to feel they are entitled to everything and don't have to work hard, work smart . . . well, welcome to the United States. You don't have to work or earn your way, but you're entitled to everything.

        Raising kids to say whatever they want without regard - freedom of speech also means there is a responsibility for what you say. Yes, Trump has said things, especially way back when that he shouldn't have. If any of us has NEVER said a wrong word or the wrong thing (not justifying anyone to say anything), let us then judge others. I've heard some pretty nasty things as a female mechanical engineer said to me, said about other women, etc. After people got to know me and saw my amazing work ethic, some even apologized to me for their rotten words.

        I think living an amazing life, treating people super wonderfully, you just can't go wrong and that's regardless of their views, beliefs, etc. We are all human beings.

        Maybe what you deem as Trump being uninformed is really more that he's not doing things the way you would like. There are many things I do not like in life that I live with. If I can do something about it, I do. If not, I live with it and just move on.

        I don't know if the world is becoming more understanding. I do see that if my views are different than the media's and those who agree with the media, that I can be bashed, ridiculed, and maybe even harmed for having a different view. The media is incredibly intolerant of opposing views. They do not truly support diversity, only their views.

        Thankfully my son's soccer team isn't representative of the media. We have families with a myriad of political, religious and other views in our team and we can all get along and be supportive of each other and our differences without forcing others to believe and do as we do.

        @beequeen Then I am one of the people you're disappointed in. I voted for Trump for a myriad of reasons. None of the reasons I voted for were because of maybe his mannerisms that I do not care for. I'm not going to get into a debate or  ...Read More

        • @ligemst can you give some specific examples of Trump policies that you support? I'm just curious, as it's so unfathomable to me. I promise that I won't criticize, critique, or otherwise start a political rant. I can't promise the same of others, so of course discretion would be understandable.

          I have relatives that voted for him and I suspect it was largely for religious reasons, specifically about abortion. I still talk to them, though things are strained to some extent; it's no use talking politics with them at all, and I feel more distant from them than ever.

          @ligemst can you give some specific examples of Trump policies that you support? I'm just curious, as it's so unfathomable to me. I promise that I won't criticize, critique, or otherwise start a political rant. I can't promise the same ...Read More

          • @aenea Yes, I can.

            My number one policy is abortion. You can make it about religion, but I do believe every life matters, especially the innocent who have done nothing to deserve death. I also, however, also believe in capital punishment, too, but Trump did not run on this. We are a nation of laws and I believe the laws of this land should be enforced.

            As for healthcare, I did not find Obamacare to be helpful to me, but to be costly and I did not get to keep all my providers. The deductibles were high, premiums kept going up. However, I was able to stop using Obamacare because we were able to get health insurance through my husband's company before things got totally ridiculous. I live in Arizona.

            Obamacare was too costly and restrictive for many healthcare companies, which is one of the huge reasons why many began to abandon it. Companies are in business to make money, not lose. If you can't sustain a profit, then one has to close one's business or move elsewhere, which is what many companies did, which created monopolies in some states.

            Monopolies with any companies, whether healthcare or whatnot are maybe good for that company, but it's not good for a free market. It allows them to be able to sell things at exorbitant prices - supply & demand.

            For immigration, I am for enforcing the current immigration laws that we have. Obama was not doing that entirely and was just too lax. I am not for open borders, just like none of us (unless we're homeless) leave our doors opened in our homes or apartments all the time for anyone to come in and out of. Why? Well, I hope I don't need to explain that.

            I do not like a big government or government too much control of our lives. Some things are okay, but I find there is more and more government control and I don't like that. I don't like being forced to pay high taxes, but I do believe taxes should be paid.

            Just because a person is financially wealthy should not be a penalty. I am not for socialism nor communism nor any form of dictatorship. I like our current Constitution and the Bill of Rights, that system and I think it's timeless. Technology may change, but the essence of the society is still the same.

            However, I am for people choosing to help those less fortunate than them and not being forced to do this in any manner, whether by government, religion, work or whatever. I think having a strong family foundation is necessary because if you don't teach and role model generosity, compassion, you expect the government to teach and enforce this?

            I am for changing the tax structure. What I would like to see is a flat tax, but that won't happen. However, I have seen for nearly 2 decades jobs here in the U.S. go out of this country - white and blue collar jobs and have worked for companies that did this. So, I like that taxation is going to change not only for individuals but for corporations to afford to be able to come back to the U.S. My own family has been affected by this more than once high tech jobs going to China, India.

            I believe in helping other countries, but not until after we've made sure our own people in the U.S. are taken care of, especially veterans, our military, police officers, fire fighters, true public servants and not politicians who skirt the law. I know some people would rather help other countries FIRST and don't give a crap about those serving our country, but it would be liken to you giving money to help your friends out while the basic needs from your own family aren't provided for. Your kids are starving and malnourished. They don't have decent clothing or safe drinking water. But your friends are living it up high on what you're providing them.

            I think there needs to be greater accountability of politicians who are supposed to serve the people and I like term limits, but I don't think he ran on this.

            As for IS*IS, they are terrorists and they need to be dealt with harshly, not be a pansy to and cater to.

            Furthermore on immigration, I am for the ban on the countries Trump did the temporary ban, which was a ban on countries, NOT being Muslim. If you were a Christian or Buddhist or whatever religion (or not) coming from those countries, that included those people, too. The media led people to believe that it was on Muslims.

            I have Iranian and Syrian friends who were in support of the temporary ban. And, refuges do need to be vetted. If they cannot be vetted, then they can't come to the country.

            I am for deporting permanently all illegal immigrants who commit felonies. Felonies are serious crimes. If you're here illegally, but haven't committed a felony (like rape, murder, things of this ilk), then they should be allowed to (and they are) become legal immigrants. THEY (the illegal immigrants) need to go through the process that all legal immigrants go through to become legal. It is a process and it takes years (time), money, lots of forms, etc. It's doable even if you don't make a lot. You just have to save.

            We are currently going through the process with my husband. He has a 10-yr Green Card and will be applying for U.S. citizenship this year. We know many legal immigrants whom have done all the things they need to be legal. However, if you were a criminal of some type in the country that you came from, it will be much harder, or maybe impossible to immigrate here. So, all the people I know whom have legally immigrated here, none had any criminal issues in the countries they came from.

            The argument that illegal immigrants pay taxes doesn't jive with me. Maybe they do, but if they do, you have to have a social security number to pay taxes. In order to get a social security number, then you need to be legal. If you're illegal with a legal social security number, then how you get one is through stealing someone else's identity, which is illegal.

            So, if your identity has been stolen, tell me the fun of what you have to go through to get this corrected. For some, their whole financial status gets destroyed at no fault of their own, but someone stealing their identity. What about the victims of identity theft?

            I did not like our dealings with NAFTA. It did not seem in the best interest of helping the U.S. as much as it was helping other countries more. To me, this was wasting money.

            Of course Mexico and other countries that we are currently in, supplying many of their jobs, boosting their economy at the cost of ours, well, they're going to be unhappy about this. We've helped them out long enough. We have to help our own people more.

            I don't like wasteful spending period, government, my own budget, any companies I have worked for. I've always tried to use money wisely no matter whose money it was. I like to buy the best I can with whatever money I have, at the best cost. I believe negotiating is a great art and skill.

            For Trump's mannerisms, I don't care for them too much. He's pretty direct. I'm pretty direct. However, he is too much direct for me. However, he's a billionaire, and I'm not. He's able to get things done.

            I am for getting rid of politicians who truly no longer serve the people they represent. However, it must be done in a process that is legal, logic, and proof that they are not serving the people they represent and not based on emotions and hysteria. That is for any side of the political fence you stand on.

            I am for cracking down on fraud of the current social government systems we have, like the welfare system or social security. I don't believe Trump ran specifically on this, but I personally think that the welfare system was created to temporarily help people, but not create generations of families to be dependent upon welfare.

            Yes, I can acknowledge and have compassion that some people have had something bad happen and have fallen on hard times, like losing a job or someone getting really sick or some terminal disease, yes, welfare is for those people. It's meant to be a temporary aid to help people get back on their feet, not as a way of life.

            I've seen people repeatedly abuse this through the food & nutrition program, the housing program, health benefits. This costs the government billions of dollars every year because of people who can work, but choose not to for whatever reasons. I've seen people use food stamps that drive way nicer cars than me, live in nicer homes, dress better than me. Something seems wrong there.

            We should be helping our elderly and disabled. Those are the ones that need more public assistance, not the young and able bodied. I was not for cutting social security, because I do believe our elderly need this to live on and for many, it's the only source of income they have.

            I do not think the super wealthy need to be paying more taxes, but taxation is very complicated. I think the middle class get probably the worst deal. I don't think being financially wealthy that you should be forced to pay for people who can work and do not, rather just sponge off the government.

            I also do not believe healthcare is a right, rather a privilege. However, it should be much more affordable and have greater flexibility. In a capitalistic society, this means there needs to be more healthcare options to choose from - supply and demand and then you would have fairer pricing. In a healthy capitalistic system, the prices will adjust to be fair.

            We are a nation of laws (sorry if I'm repeating myself - multitasking) and I believe current laws need to be enforced period. If you caught speeding, you get a ticket (unless the officer has mercy on you). Pay the ticket. That happened to me. It stunk, but I broke the traffic law with speeding and the consequence was a $200+ ticket, traffic school or get a point on my driver's license. Do the crime, pay the fine or time.

            Looting, vandalizing, murder, aggravated assault, these are all crimes and should be punished. Imagine if someone didn't like your opinion and came to rob your home, deface it, harm your kids and you. Is that acceptable?

            Anyway, with each of the points, I could write a lot more, but I just don't have time. If there's something specific you want a greater explanation on, let me know and I'll try to be clear. I've written this over the course of a couple hours doing different other things for my family, so my thoughts may be a little scattered.

            I'm okay with anyone's views whether they disagree or agree with me. I'm for having a dialogue or discussion to understand other people's point-of-views. I just sometimes am leery of sharing my own views in many areas due to the intolerance of differing views. Thank you for asking respectfully.

            @aenea Yes, I can.

            My number one policy is abortion. You can make it about religion, but I do believe every life matters, especially the innocent who have done nothing to deserve death. I also, however, also believe in capital punishment ...Read More

ligemst replied on 2017-05-16 13:03:59
ligemst added an entry on Share Recipes
2017-05-02 01:50:59 7 cheers

Greek Meatball Pitas

Got this recipe from Kalyn's Kitchen - Greek Meatballs. Another great meal. Made this meal in March.

Share Recipes
  • 2 people are doing this
  • @ligemst OMG I loooooove that you are doing this goal and sharing all about this yummy food!!! many of my goals have had a heavy focus on learning how to cook (try new recipes, bring a lunch to work instead of eating out, take cooking classes etc.) - reading your entries is really helpful and inspiring to me!!

    @ligemst OMG I loooooove that you are doing this goal and sharing all about this yummy food!!! many of my goals have had a heavy focus on learning how to cook (try new recipes, bring a lunch to work instead of eating out, take cooking clas ...Read More

    • @joycultivation Thank you. It's fun, but sometimes I am delayed or sometimes I just don't feel like taking pictures. But, it's fun to go back and to see the things I've made for my family, which I think sometimes they take for granted.

      You can learn to cook. Patience. I get a lot of my stuff off Pinterest, but often I modify recipes because I've cooked enough to know some things need modification for my family and I to like.

      @joycultivation Thank you. It's fun, but sometimes I am delayed or sometimes I just don't feel like taking pictures. But, it's fun to go back and to see the things I've made for my family, which I think sometimes they take for granted.

       ...Read More

      • @ligemst I have tried Pinterest too but I feel like it is a gamble. I have been sticking to cookbooks that have been vetted. I am getting better and more confident slowly. It is taking time but luckily I have enthusiastic recipe tasters!!

        • @joycultivation That's safe. For years I used cookbooks. I can also tell usually for my family what recipes will work and what won't, but that's from years of cooking. Still, sometimes I do miss the mark and there is the occasional meal I do mess up on or my family doesn't like. Very good you have enthusiastic tasters. :)

          @joycultivation That's safe. For years I used cookbooks. I can also tell usually for my family what recipes will work and what won't, but that's from years of cooking. Still, sometimes I do miss the mark and there is the occasional meal ...Read More

ligemst cheered 2017-05-15 21:49:24
ligemst replied on 2017-05-13 18:52:28
ligemst added an entry on Ramble
2017-05-13 05:09:49 1 cheer

TEACHERS

I wished I had thought of this several years ago. Teacher Appreciation week is always the first half of May or so. My thought is for the kids starting at the beginning of the school year to keep a journal for each teacher they have.

For that journal, they write about the teacher, how they are learning as a student, what strikes them, any epiphanies, funny stories. They can draw in the journal, do any art work. It's mainly like a scrapbook of the school year for that teacher that they can give to the teacher at the end of the year for Teacher Appreciation.

Maybe for each week or a month, we put a certain amount aside for each teacher to give them a VISA gift card or something that can be given at the end of the year.

Maybe a picture would be taken at the beginning of the year of my kid and then at the end of the year. Maybe how they've grown and the impact that the teacher has been in this past year of their lives.

I remember the teachers each did this for each of their students when they were in kindergarten through 2nd grade. Why can't they do something like this but for the teacher in these high school years?

Going to have the kids do this next year. It'll be my daughter's Senior year in high school and my son's Freshman year. I think it will mean a lot for the teachers since it will take basically 10 months to do.

TEACHERS

I wished I had thought of this several years ago. Teacher Appreciation week is always the first half of May or so. My thought is for the kids starting at the beginning of the school year to keep a journal for each teacher they ha ...Read More

Ramble
  • 1 person is doing this
  • @ligemst my sister teaches 2nd grade. I will tell her about this. I bet she will love it

    • @wyverndust That would be great, if she doesn't already do it for her students. I do remember my kids each year coming back with a journal like this that the teachers kept for each kid and gave them to them at the end of the year. It was a different things they had done throughout the school. I LOVED getting them and seeing their progress.

      I think as middle school and high school years, it's more meaningful to have the teachers get these books than them doing it for the students. The teachers at our school don't get paid that much, but they give so much. We're not financially wealthy like some of the mega millionaire parents at the school and they can really give some big financial gifts, but this is something that is very personal between my child and the teacher.

      This is especially wonderful if you have the same teacher for multiple years in different subjects. It takes a lot of thought and cumulative time.

      @wyverndust That would be great, if she doesn't already do it for her students. I do remember my kids each year coming back with a journal like this that the teachers kept for each kid and gave them to them at the end of the year. It was ...Read More

ligemst replied on 2017-05-13 16:46:06
ligemst added an entry on Love and be loved
2017-05-11 15:16:09 1 cheer

Wife Report Card

I was supposed to do this last week, but I did not. In my Women's Bible study, we had a Wife Report Card. Yeah. It focused on 8 areas, which were things that were covered in the Intentional Women Bible Study.

They were:


  • Sober/Sound Minded

  • Love Husband

  • Love Children

  • Discreet

  • Chaste

  • Keeper at Home

  • Good/Kind

  • Submissive


There were definitions for each of these and it was supposed to be his perceptions or how he sees me. I would have rated myself differently than what he did, in fact, quite differently except for 1 item.

The ones that aren't highlighted were the things I do well, close to perfect for him, as perfect as an imperfect person could get.

However, the things I got rated pretty low on were the things I highlighted. I couldn't help it, but tears began to flow down my face profusely not because they were low but because he didn't think I had made a lot of improvements in these areas in the past 9 months I've been doing this study. I knew there was still a lot of work to be done here, but I asked him to be honest with me and it really hurt.

But, the thing is, these were the 3 areas that I had been focusing on and really trying really hard because I knew they were issues with me. I also didn't see myself as really too kind of a person, but he said I am really a good/kind person generally and it's only when I'm super angry that I might not be, but even then, I'm still kind, way kinder than he is.

He said he could tell me what I wanted to hear, but how would that benefit me. He recounted many times I was not those 3 highlighted areas. It's really a challenge to hear feedback you didn't want to hear. He had to rate me on a scale of 1 to 5, 5 being the best.

Let's just say the scores weren't good nor did they really improve hardly from the past 9 months. Though I may not say as much, he says keeping it inside of me until at some point I explode is not good. It's just causing anger and resentment to build up.

Though I could name many instances were I was better than what he perceived, because I was intentionally making a point to be these 3 things, he didn't see it that way.

He said it all came down to me NOT LISTENING and being REACTIVE. If I would truly listen and not be reactive, being opened to listening - not speaking or thinking about what to say, and really hear, he said I would be great in these 3 things.

Even writing this, I feel like crying. However, it's feedback for me to use it to improve as a person. I have and am seeing improvements in my marriage where it was once not that way. I have learned to control my tongue much more and not just spew out stuff at any cost or at any time.

A couple weeks or so ago, I began without him telling me, to work on my internal dialogue, which can be quite not good. When that internal dialogue, those conversations in my head, are good, then I believe these other things will be much better.

He said that when I am emotional, all logic goes out the door. It's true. It's sometimes hard to accept that we aren't as good in some areas of our lives that we think we are, which is the case with me.

Humble pie, but I am willing to change. I am willing to listen and not speak and to turn off that internal dialogue to truly hear what my husband, kids and others are saying to me and respond appropriately.

I guess as I look at society, even I have elements of all the yucky stuff going on in my own life. I don't want to be the craziness society is and I want to be true not just on the outside, but inside of me. Lots of work, but I aim that this time next year, even though I may not get all 5s, that they will all be 4s and 5s. And for those things I did get 5s on, to maintain them.

Wife Report Card

I was supposed to do this last week, but I did not. In my Women's Bible study, we had a Wife Report Card. Yeah. It focused on 8 areas, which were things that were covered in the Intentional Women Bible Study.

They were ...Read More

Love and be loved
  • 13 people are doing this
  • @ligemst do you get to criticize him and give him a report card too? this upsets me a great deal because I know you give 110% to everything you do. I don't like thinking that the person you love the most is hurting you with criticism and not recognizing your efforts. Although my partner often tells me that I don't listen. I do listen I just have a mind of my own and I have to learn the hard way sometimes. It should not be a one way street and you should get credit for your substantial efforts.

    @ligemst do you get to criticize him and give him a report card too? this upsets me a great deal because I know you give 110% to everything you do. I don't like thinking that the person you love the most is hurting you with criticism and n ...Read More

    • @wyverndust No, he does not get to give me a report card. Each of us wives and mothers in my Bible study were to give the "Wife Report Card" to our husbands and ask for honest feedback.

      Though his report card of me for 3 items did make me cry, it did make me realize that I am not that great of a listener not just to him, but to our kids and others. It's a challenge to get hard feedback, but I really want to improve and though I give my all when I set a goal, I really fell short here.

      IF I would just LISTEN before I react, I think I would do MUCH better with each of those 3 things and I aim to do just that. It's against my nature, but I want to continually become a better person.

      I have calmed down the past 2-3 yrs, but I still have a ways to go. I sort of repress my feelings some, so then it just builds up. I need to be able to effectively discuss my issues without becoming all emotionally crazy, then I don't make a whole lot of sense.

      The persons I become the most emotionally crazy with are my husband and kids. They get the best of me, but they also get the worst of me. With these 3 goals, I need to be very aware of what I'm doing and feeling, and be very intentional if I'm going to make progress on them.

      I was asking HIM for feedback. He wasn't asking for my feedback. Sometimes he does and I tell him and it's not always negative. It's never been in the form of like a piece of paper with a rating system like I gave him for me. I solicited that information and feedback from him. It's all good.

      @wyverndust No, he does not get to give me a report card. Each of us wives and mothers in my Bible study were to give the "Wife Report Card" to our husbands and ask for honest feedback.

      Though his report card of me for 3 items did make me ...Read More

ligemst added an entry on Ramble
2017-05-13 05:09:49 1 cheer

TEACHERS

I wished I had thought of this several years ago. Teacher Appreciation week is always the first half of May or so. My thought is for the kids starting at the beginning of the school year to keep a journal for each teacher they have.

For that journal, they write about the teacher, how they are learning as a student, what strikes them, any epiphanies, funny stories. They can draw in the journal, do any art work. It's mainly like a scrapbook of the school year for that teacher that they can give to the teacher at the end of the year for Teacher Appreciation.

Maybe for each week or a month, we put a certain amount aside for each teacher to give them a VISA gift card or something that can be given at the end of the year.

Maybe a picture would be taken at the beginning of the year of my kid and then at the end of the year. Maybe how they've grown and the impact that the teacher has been in this past year of their lives.

I remember the teachers each did this for each of their students when they were in kindergarten through 2nd grade. Why can't they do something like this but for the teacher in these high school years?

Going to have the kids do this next year. It'll be my daughter's Senior year in high school and my son's Freshman year. I think it will mean a lot for the teachers since it will take basically 10 months to do.

TEACHERS

I wished I had thought of this several years ago. Teacher Appreciation week is always the first half of May or so. My thought is for the kids starting at the beginning of the school year to keep a journal for each teacher they ha ...Read More

Ramble
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View replies
ligemst replied on 2017-05-13 04:58:13
ligemst replied on 2017-05-13 04:49:37
ligemst added an entry on Love and be loved
2017-05-04 14:25:18 2 cheers

Breakfast

My husband asked me a few months ago to stop making breakfast for the kids, but on the rare occasion, I will. For instance, when they've had a long day, too many tests or school projects, or special testing, I will make breakfast for them. I want to make sure they have a good protein rich breakfast with some good veggies.

I always make my husband breakfast, though. My husband is spoiled and he doesn't want me to spoil the kids. They make their own school lunches, which is usually leftovers from dinners I make that are usually homemade. Or, if they don't want that, there are a plethora of other options I make available to them with tortillas, wraps, salad stuff, bread.

Today, though, I went out (first time) to buy each of the kids iced coffees from McDonald's. They were so tired from a long day at school and then a long night of choir concerts, the 2nd one in the past 6 days.

My daughter's curriculum as well as the whole school's is all honors and there is a lot of homework each night. She's chosen her thesis topic, which she will do as a Senior next year and she will have to defend it before she graduates high school. Her school is very academic, as well as good at sports and liberal arts. It's a traditional school with a traditional education, just everything is accelerated honors.

I've heard from many students who came back and said college was a breeze after going to this jr high and high school. The graduation rate for my daughter's school is 100% as well as 100% of the students going onto college or some trade school (this is rare).

Had to go to 2 McDonald's to get the iced coffee as the first McDonald's didn't have iced coffee. They were out. This is one of the worst McDonald's as it's often out of stuff - ice, ice cream, now iced coffee.

Breakfast

My husband asked me a few months ago to stop making breakfast for the kids, but on the rare occasion, I will. For instance, when they've had a long day, too many tests or school projects, or special testing, I will make breakfast ...Read More

Love and be loved
  • 13 people are doing this
ligemst added an entry on Love and be loved
2017-05-11 15:16:09 1 cheer

Wife Report Card

I was supposed to do this last week, but I did not. In my Women's Bible study, we had a Wife Report Card. Yeah. It focused on 8 areas, which were things that were covered in the Intentional Women Bible Study.

They were:


  • Sober/Sound Minded

  • Love Husband

  • Love Children

  • Discreet

  • Chaste

  • Keeper at Home

  • Good/Kind

  • Submissive


There were definitions for each of these and it was supposed to be his perceptions or how he sees me. I would have rated myself differently than what he did, in fact, quite differently except for 1 item.

The ones that aren't highlighted were the things I do well, close to perfect for him, as perfect as an imperfect person could get.

However, the things I got rated pretty low on were the things I highlighted. I couldn't help it, but tears began to flow down my face profusely not because they were low but because he didn't think I had made a lot of improvements in these areas in the past 9 months I've been doing this study. I knew there was still a lot of work to be done here, but I asked him to be honest with me and it really hurt.

But, the thing is, these were the 3 areas that I had been focusing on and really trying really hard because I knew they were issues with me. I also didn't see myself as really too kind of a person, but he said I am really a good/kind person generally and it's only when I'm super angry that I might not be, but even then, I'm still kind, way kinder than he is.

He said he could tell me what I wanted to hear, but how would that benefit me. He recounted many times I was not those 3 highlighted areas. It's really a challenge to hear feedback you didn't want to hear. He had to rate me on a scale of 1 to 5, 5 being the best.

Let's just say the scores weren't good nor did they really improve hardly from the past 9 months. Though I may not say as much, he says keeping it inside of me until at some point I explode is not good. It's just causing anger and resentment to build up.

Though I could name many instances were I was better than what he perceived, because I was intentionally making a point to be these 3 things, he didn't see it that way.

He said it all came down to me NOT LISTENING and being REACTIVE. If I would truly listen and not be reactive, being opened to listening - not speaking or thinking about what to say, and really hear, he said I would be great in these 3 things.

Even writing this, I feel like crying. However, it's feedback for me to use it to improve as a person. I have and am seeing improvements in my marriage where it was once not that way. I have learned to control my tongue much more and not just spew out stuff at any cost or at any time.

A couple weeks or so ago, I began without him telling me, to work on my internal dialogue, which can be quite not good. When that internal dialogue, those conversations in my head, are good, then I believe these other things will be much better.

He said that when I am emotional, all logic goes out the door. It's true. It's sometimes hard to accept that we aren't as good in some areas of our lives that we think we are, which is the case with me.

Humble pie, but I am willing to change. I am willing to listen and not speak and to turn off that internal dialogue to truly hear what my husband, kids and others are saying to me and respond appropriately.

I guess as I look at society, even I have elements of all the yucky stuff going on in my own life. I don't want to be the craziness society is and I want to be true not just on the outside, but inside of me. Lots of work, but I aim that this time next year, even though I may not get all 5s, that they will all be 4s and 5s. And for those things I did get 5s on, to maintain them.

Wife Report Card

I was supposed to do this last week, but I did not. In my Women's Bible study, we had a Wife Report Card. Yeah. It focused on 8 areas, which were things that were covered in the Intentional Women Bible Study.

They were ...Read More

Love and be loved
  • 13 people are doing this
View replies
ligemst added an entry on Exercise regularly
2017-05-11 13:45:07 3 cheers

Sleep Is Off

I won't do intense workouts when my sleep is off. We've been having some issues between my husband and I with temperature in the house. I like it cooler when I sleep with airflow. He likes it warmer with no airflow. It's a point of contention between us.

Sometimes I wake up to see that the heat has been on and believe me, I think we hit a record high last week and it was HOT. My husband stays up most nights really late, especially Fri-Sat because he has no work. I always go to bed around the same time (9-10 am) unless the kids have some activity that doesn't allow me to do this.

There is an A/C vent near our desks which I may change to try to point away from the desks. If he's not cold at the desk, then he probably won't turn on the heater. It's nuts that he would turn on the heat when the lows are hotter than what he turns the heat to. We live in Central Arizona where the average summer temperature can be 110° F.

I like the house when I'm sleeping about 76-77° F. I don't think that's too cold. He says I have a body temperature problem. No, when it's hot outside, I don't turn on the heat.

Anyway, I will solve this problem and it will work out for the both of us. I think buying a different A/C vent would be the thing.

Sleep Is Off

I won't do intense workouts when my sleep is off. We've been having some issues between my husband and I with temperature in the house. I like it cooler when I sleep with airflow. He likes it warmer with no airflow. It's a ...Read More

Exercise regularly
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You can type any date in plain English like in 3 weeks or next month.
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