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  • beequeen
    beequeen Doing 3 cheers 2017-11-15 18:54:46

    The top of my drafting table is organized but there is a LOT of stuff. Art supplies, folders, binders, etc. I have limited space for all of that, but need it on hand when I am working on projects.

    First, I want to sort thru the folders and binders and condense and or toss.

    Then, I want to find something....one thing vs. several things (tins, wooden crates and baskets) to keep the art supplies in, thereby freeing up more actual, usable desktop space.

    I'd like to find something like this, below. I am guessing a vintage one may not be affordable, but maybe I can find a nice looking replica?

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  • beequeen
    beequeen Doing 2 cheers 2017-11-07 16:48:48

    One of the projects I have been working on this last year is dolls, specifically, custom and hand made paper dolls. They are all original, all one of a kind, I hand cut and hand embellish everything, from their hair to their shoes (if they're wearing any....). I use a combination of fabric, fibers and paper that I have collected over the years, and some paper that I have made that are my own design. I love doing this. I think it is one of my favorite projects/ideas to date. I am really pleased with the way they're coming out. I just Googled to see if I could post a photo of paper dolls similar to the ones I make and couldn't find anything remotely similar!!! (The photo posted is just a poster I liked...) That made me say "Eureka!" as maybe I am on to something! I was thrilled to discover that mine are very unique.

    This work requires a lot of table top space, what with papers/fabrics/fibers, glues, cutting mats, drying mats, assembly space, scissors and exacto knives, etc. Lately I have been using the window seat, as the top of it is waist high and a perfect height at which to work. The problem is that I cannot leave works in progress out all the time, as when I have people over they gravitate toward the window seat. And why wouldn't they? It affords a spectacular view, and is cozy.

    Have GOT to figure this out and soon! This space issue. Especially as I am ramping up production of these during the holidays. Thinking maybe.....keep using the right half of window seat? Then use the nearby desk as overflow and keep the work stored there when I am not working on it.

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  • beequeen
    beequeen Doing 2 cheers 2017-11-01 15:17:04

    Well, the idea I had for sharing space has not come to any fruition. Not yet anyway.

    So it's back to the notion of making more space at home, where space is minimal.....not the end of the world, I can make it happen I think, but dang, I sure would like to have a dedicated space, like I used to have! I miss that so much!

    My apartment is only about 550-600 sq ft., and its a lovely little space, with high ceilings, wood floors, sunny, has a huge window seat, and an ocean view, but where am I going to carve out this space? It is such a challenge.

    I know what window 'd prefer to be in to work on projects and art, but it means rearranging the whole living-room space which may not be possible due to the layout and how things fit in there at the moment. If I were to have it in the bedroom at my desk I wouldn't have enough natural light in that corner, and the bed cannot be moved into that corner because of where the closet is. Sighhhhhhh.....I suppose I could block half the closet and just climb on my bed to get into the other half but that would be such an pain in the derriere. Unless I put stuff in that side of the closet I don't use or wear much.......that's possible. The other idea I had was to get rid of the credenza in the kitchen, and put the desk out there. It wouldn't look great, but it would be functional. I usually end up working on my art in the kitchen anyway.

    Yes, where there's a will, yada yada yada. I need to just stop waiting for the perfect space to appear.

    Random pic added, I just liked it. Pigments. Color!

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  • beequeen
    beequeen Doing 5 cheers 2017-08-01 16:45:20

    This weekend I am going to.....GULP.....cull the art supplies in the cedar chest, and atop the drafting table.

    I am donating them to a local non profit that has a day care center. I know the gal who runs it and she was recently bemoaning the fact that there's little money in the budget for art supplies.


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  • beequeen
    beequeen Doing 7 cheers 2017-07-25 16:36:05

    Well, I am still considering possibilities here. Alas, a new possibility may have presented itself to have outside space as studio space. I need only speak with someone about it, someone who has some extra unused space at their business. I was there recently, as a customer, and noticed this great space! All unused! Whether or not the owner will be amenable, who knows, but it never hurts to ask. I am open to yes and not afraid of no. One of my mottos is that you have to be willing to create some of your own opportunities.

    I am going to contact her today!

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  • beequeen
    beequeen Doing 2 cheers 2017-11-21 16:46:00

    On sexual harassment and misconduct.

    I overheard a conversation the other day wherein two women were discussing the allegations levied at various celebrities or public figures.

    One actually said to the other "Well, why are all of these women only just coming forward NOW? Why did they wait so long?"

    I wanted to turn around and say to her "Do you have any idea how much strength it takes to bounce back from such things, to carry on, to heal (particularly if there was violence and violation)?" I just stared at her, but as I was about to speak, she walked away. I was, quite honestly dumbfounded, gobsmacked, though she isn't the first person I have heard ask that.


    I'll tell you why people wait so long, or don't talk about it at all, ever:

    because people don't really want to hear it

    because people don't really listen

    because people judge and assume the victim did something to incite, invite or deserve it

    because its hard to talk about and they might feel ashamed even though none of it was their fault

    because it brings back bad memories

    because it carries a social stigma or other consequences that victims don't want to be associated with

    because they've been further bullied, threatened or silenced by the offender

    because maybe they feel safer talking about it now that others are coming forward

    and, last but not least, because insensitive, blinkered people make inappropriate comments like "Why is she only coming forward NOW?" instead of saying "That's horrible; how strong she was for being able to hold that in and carry on, and how BRAVE it is of her to come forward."

    Word to the unwise: if you're the kind of person asking why people are "just now coming forward", do yourself, and every real victim a favor and keep your judgmental, uninformed, insensitive comments to yourself. If you can't be part of the solution, part of the revolution in consciousness, because that's what it is, then PLEASE just KEEP QUIET.

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  • beequeen
    beequeen Doing 2 cheers 2017-11-20 18:04:12

    SORRY people!!!!

    I just used johnjerryjaslin's own post against him. I reposted it back to him. Twice. I apologize for clogging the feed with more of it, but am hoping he (?) will get the message and leave off!

    Also hoping the admin team will notice what I did and not think I am initially responsible for that drivel.............

    Maybe if more of us do that he'll go away?????

    Maybe that's not how it works, but there seemed to be nothing else to do in the moment. Except ignore him. Now, on to that.

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  • beequeen
    beequeen Doing 2 cheers 2017-11-15 21:59:28

    When I heard that my Great Grandmother was a burlesque dancer, a chanteuse, and a right raconteur (can that term be applied to women?) I was so intrigued! It made me like her more.

    As I was growing up, she was just this petite, feisty ol' lady we used to have to go visit a few times a year, who made us sit on the couch like statues and if we wanted a drink we all had to drink from the same cup, so as not to dirty more than one. She wasn't warm and fuzzy like my other Great Grandmother. (Though by all accounts she was entertaining, and possessed of a keen, dry wit.) She is much more interesting and even lovable to me, now that I am aware of some aspects of her past.

    I am thinking of writing a story about her, so I am not divulging everything. But she was fascinating!

    It occurs to me that each of them, The Grands, was love personified but in very different ways. One deeply expressed erotic love, the other deeply expressed "agape" and familial love.

    I knew warm fuzzy Nana really well, and adored her. I did not know dancer Nana well, but I wish I had, because I think that we'd have liked one another too, once I was not a small child anymore. Children annoyed her.

    When I heard that she'd been a dancer something clicked into place. As a young girl my father used to tell me I resembled her but it was clear he didn't seem happy about that fact. NOW I get it. I think. Maybe as he was afraid I was also going to grow up to be a right raconteur myself, a roadhouse chanteuse and burlesque dancer, who shacked up with men she wasn't married to, drank, refused to marry til she felt like it and didn't care whether or not people thought she was a "nice girl". Man, she must have been a blast to hang out with. I went thru a party girl phase, and I have done a lil striptease on more than one occasion, once at a bachelorette party for a lesbian couple (there was tequila involved), I shack up with men I am not married to and have refused to marry to date, but I dare say she had a lot more gumption and bravado than I. She was ahead of her time, methinks.

    There's definitely a story here.

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  • beequeen
    beequeen Doing 1 cheers 2017-11-08 16:27:17

    On love and romance.

    Any sort of cage, actual or metaphorical, real or perceived, feels like death to me. There are times when I've made a life within cages (the ex, M, comes to mind) of sorts because it seemed there was no alternative, or the justifications made it worth it some how(?) Conversely, when freed of them I have been the free-est individual, enjoying more freedom than most people, particularly most women, I have ever known. I think this is (part of) why I have trouble staying in a relationship. So many of them (partners) wanted to cage me.......clip my wings.....only one ever had enough of a sense of his own self, and enough trust in me who is inherently trustworthy, to embrace me without expecting me not to fly. I was very young, and he and I weren't together very long, but I love him for teaching me that. So, now I know it's possible to find that, and I wait. I'll wait forever, ain't settlin'. But I hope I don't have to.

    I can be single. I have always been able to support myself, I have a loving family and a good circle of friends. I have a gazillion and one hobbies and interests. I make a beautiful, cozy, soulful sanctuary of a home for myself, with or without sharing it with another.

    But yes, eventually, I do hope to be sharing it with a soulful, deep, intelligent, hardworkin', hardluvin' man again someday. &#xsmile;

    It's harder to find these days, and truth told I am not actively looking, not really sure how to do that at the moment, maybe I am out of....er...practice? I have just never thought of it as something you go out and look for. Maybe because I never had to? It always just found me.......but maybe I need to be more proactive and will do so when I am ready.

    Hookups work, for now, but I'll need more at some point.

    Or maybe I won't. LOLOL!!!!!!! Why the ambivalence? Hmmmmmmmmmmm...................

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  • beequeen
    beequeen Doing 4 cheers 2017-10-10 16:50:53

    I declare, that while I am hella feminine:


    That's my thought for the day. (I kept it to myself though, 'cept between me and you. Because I am getting paid to be diplomatic. LOLOL.)

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    • Andia
      Andia 2 cheers 2017-10-11 11:21:56

      @beequeen there are things appealing with so many body types. I love how you don’t equate feminine with daintiness. It’s not the same thing at all.

      I love the whole 50s pinup styles that are so utterly feminine but they were not tiny. I wish I was that type of girl at times but I’m more of a boho, indie stylin girl. Give me oversized flowing shirts and I am a happy camper.

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      • beequeen
        beequeen Doing 1 cheers 2017-10-23 15:20:41



        I wasn't even thinking of body type when I wrote this........I was thinking of it more in terms of my behavior in that moment. But your interpretation is totally part of the aesthetic of daintiness. You're right that I don't equate femininity (my own) with daintiness. Not to say women who act or look "dainty" are any more or less feminine, it just isn't my style.

        I like the pin up style too. I suppose my style is part that, part boho, and part classic. It's hard to describe, because I don't know anyone else whose style is quite like mine. My lifestyle though is most definitely, decidedly, non conventional boho. LOL

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  • beequeen
    beequeen Doing 1 cheers 2017-11-13 14:51:50

    My rule in the last few years re books: when I buy a new one or more....one or more goes out. To a friend, to the local 2nd hand bookstore or the library, or I leave it somewhere with a little sign indicating it is for the taking. That ensures that I do not find myself living in an apartment with so many books that I cannot move around. (I had a lot more space for books in my house, not the case now.....I have had to take a more disciplined approach.)

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  • beequeen
    beequeen Doing 2 cheers 2017-11-13 14:45:15

    Cleaned my closet out this past weekend. Whatever I have not worn or doesn't fit was jettisoned. I do this a couple times a year; the recipients of my hand me downs are always stoked! :)

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  • beequeen
    beequeen Doing 1 cheers 2017-08-01 16:31:48

    To that end I am also not accepting more "stuff".

    For example, a friend just tried to give me some things from her own beadbox that she won't be using. I have enough in my own to keep beading for some time without running out of available materials so I politely declined.

    I have also encouraged family and friends over time not to gift me with things. I am grateful for their gifts, and have many creative people around me so asking them not to gift me with things that they could have made is hard, but I really do not want to accumulate more. Of anything.

    This weekend I plan to collect more from among my things to donate or give away. Clothing, books, household items. I'd been holding on to some of the household things, and books, thinking that I'd have another house by now, but that hasn't happened, and isn't likely to in the next several years, so away they go.

    When I was in a house I had a lot more room, it never felt crowded. And I don't want it to feel that way now, I need space. There was a lot of space amidst all the lovely things and decor. My current abode, an apartment, is much smaller and cannot accommodate all of the contents of my former life. (Not that I would even want it to; much is still in storage, and I have already given away a lot of that as well.)

    This is progress. Needs must; new space, different lifestyle. Evolve, keep my face toward the sun. &#xsmile;

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  • beequeen
    beequeen Doing 1 cheers 2017-07-12 15:36:14

    Have been working on this little by little for the last few years. I downsized from a house to an apartment a few years ago and as one might surmise, I could not bring everything.

    So, away with more of it.


    Just keep what I love and what is useful.

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  • beequeen
    beequeen Doing 2 cheers 2017-08-01 16:38:13

    I have been wanting to do this for a very long time. People say : "But that would be so HARD!" Maybe for some. I don't think it will be for me. I am a relatively quiet person, and am not conversational just to hear myself speak or to fill up silence. Last night I went to dinner with a group of friends, and they did the majority of the talking. I am OK with that. (Though, I will say, my penchant for being the least talkative one in my circle lends itself to often getting barraged by people who LOVE to talk talk talk......which I can find off putting to an extent.)

    Anyway, I want to do this, still. I hope I can make it happen in the next 12 months.

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  • beequeen
    beequeen Doing 6 cheers 2017-11-30 20:13:29

    I added this because a friend of mine asked me to teach her. I was surprised by the request, but I thought "Yeah, I can do that..."

    I took it for granted for many years that everyone could (and probably liked to) cook for themselves and others. Til college and beyond, when I learned that that isn't the case. (Everyone ate at my apartment in college...)

    For me, it is as simple and effortless as tidying my home regularly, or brushing my teeth, etc. I guess I lump it in there with self care and basic life skills, but I also enjoy it immensely, cooking and baking. It's another form of art to me, as well as a life skill.

    Mother cooked and baked with us a lot when we were children. It was something we did with her for fun. As a result, all of us like to, and are proficient.

    It never occurred to me that this would be something I'd find myself teaching others (except the wee beasties, the nieces and nephews with whom I have always shared kitchen space).

    I told her to give me a list of things she wants to learn and we'll work from that. She wants to work up a repertoire.

    I think it'll be fun! And I may learn more too.

    It got me thinking...potential new albeit small income source? Hmmmmm......I am, in particular, really good at baking bread.

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    • taylor
      taylor 3 cheers 2017-11-30 21:49:51

      @beequeen That's so cool! I'm continually surprised at how many people don't know basic cooking/baking and rely on packaged/take-out foods, but maybe I shouldn't be, given how big an industry they've become. There's less value-added profit in selling basic ingredients, so there's less incentive to teach/promote home cooking.
      Rachel Ray got her start doing cooking demos at a local food store, if I recall correctly.

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      • beequeen
        beequeen Doing 3 cheers 2017-12-01 15:12:11


        Me too, re the surprise at how many people don't or can't cook from scratch anymore. As you pointed out, we are also now in the age of convenience foods. They existed when I was a kid but we rarely ever ate them. The one exception was once a month we were allowed to choose a Hostess treat from a vendor who came round the area in a truck, selling some of those convenience goods. My Mother bought from him to be polite (he was a really nice man and had a large family to support) and because my brothers loved those snowball cupcake thingies. There were time she'd even send him on his way after having given him something she'd just baked!!! He loved her whoopie pies! LOL

        I wonder how much of that (not cooking) is because people may not have been exposed to scratch cooking as children, by parents who liked to cook that way or had to out of necessity? My Mother didn't have the luxury of a nearby supermarket when we were really young, so she became a very good scratch cook and baker using staple goods, garden produce and fruit, and freshly butchered, caught or hunted meats, poultry, wild game, fish and shellfish. (Luckily, she also enjoyed it.) That's all I knew in my early childhood was homemade, fresh foods. I didn't have milk or eggs out of a carton, or store bought beef, pork or poultry til my parents divorced and we moved away from my grandfathers farm. I have never in my life had anything other than fresh fish and shellfish, given that I live on the coast and have had fishermen in my family for generations. Conversely, when I met my ex, his idea of a meal was anything out of a box or can. He heated things up, he didn't cook. I was appalled and let him know early on that I didn't eat that way. To his credit, he readily accepted and even came to be grateful that I possessed a myriad of domestic skills.

        Who does the cooking in your house? One thing I have noticed of late is that more men nowadays do seem to know how to cook, if they live in a household where people cook.

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        • taylor
          taylor 1 cheers 2017-12-01 18:56:43

          @beequeen Very interesting to hear about your food upbringing! You're so lucky to have had access to farm-fresh ingredients and fresh seafood.

          We didn't have a lot of money, so we didn't eat terribly fancy. If we wanted Hostess Cupcakes or candy, it had to come from our allowance or money we earned. Never had fancy Coke or Pepsi, occasionally some store brand root beer in the summer. We had a lot of fish from the lake at our cabin in the summer and venison some years from my dad's deer hunting. I did some cooking with my mom as a kid, but I also worked at a local restaurant as a busboy and a cook. Later I worked at a Pizza Hut and made a lot of dough (not money).

          My wife grew up in Iowa, and her grandpa had a farm with a big garden, so they'd get a lot of good food from him. It's family lore that if you let your dog pee on the radishes, they're milder tasting.

          So, we both cook. When we started dating in college we'd make meals like chili together using hot pots in the dorm kitchenette. Often we take turns cooking -- or I'll cook the meat and she'll do the sides or vice versa. She loves to bake but hasn't been doing it as much lately because we're trying to avoid wheat and sugar. We did make some Bailey's Irish Cream fudge last night using the dairy-free Bailey's.

          We grow some of our own veggies, so we've done a fair amount of preserving over the years.

          We have watched a lot of Food Network, though less lately. Chopped is a lot of fun. We also watch Gordon Ramsey's Master Chef and Hell's Kitchen. For some reason, we never got into Top Chef.

          In the last year or two, we've made some new, younger friends who are more blue-collar, all wonderful people. A couple are accomplished cooks, but many seem to subsist on packaged foods and fast food. They don't seem at all curious about different kinds of foods than the typical American diet -- burgers, hot dogs, Kraft mac & cheese, soda pop. I couldn't believe it when one guy said, "What's chorizo?" Maybe that makes me a food snob, but there are millions of common Hispanic folks who know exactly what chorizo is.

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          • beequeen
            beequeen Doing 0 cheers 2017-12-02 16:09:20

            @taylor It sounds like we have similarities in our upbringings re food, maybe it was the era, the norm of that time? Whatever the reason, I am glad of it, the experience of growing up a time when it was still the norm that most food was fresh and freshly cooked.

            It sounds fun, you and your wife cooking together. That's funny about the radishes!!! And the chorizo!! And Bailey's fudge!! Yummm!!!!!

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            • Airos
              Airos 1 cheers 2017-12-02 20:39:47

              @beequeen I grew up with a large vegetable garden. Would totally love to have one, but live on a very small plot of land in suburbia so just not possible. But there are farmers markets with fresh fruits and vegetables within walking distance so all good.

              Love to cook, it a creative outlet for me. Made it a goal to learn how in the old 43T. I continue to improve.

              This is such an awesome goal. Good on you for inspiring and helping your friend. I suspect it will be a great time teaching.

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              • beequeen
                beequeen Doing 0 cheers 2017-12-02 21:47:23


                Thank you! Glad you enjoy it as well. I find it very creative and soulful activity.

                I miss gardening as well. From childhood, and when I lived in a house in adulthood. At the house I had...hmmm...counting...6 flower beds, one herb patch with a variety of herbs, one with just mint, and a medium sized veggie garden. And various shrubs.

                Ahhh yes. I miss it terribly. I have no outside space now that is my own, even though I have a great apartment.

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  • beequeen
    beequeen Doing 2 cheers 2017-11-13 15:09:16

    I have been hard on myself about this.

    I need to stop harkening back to that self that a few years ago had a rigorous, 60 plus minutes daily yoga routine. I need to just accept that I am at a different place in life, and accept that what I can and am willing to do is enough, yet continue to steadily reach beyond what I have settled into as "routine" so that I can reap the rewards and benefits that result from a more disciplined approach. There is no need though for an all out "balls to the wall" approach. Gradual is OK. It is probably a much healthier approach.

    I know too well how GOOD regular practice, regular varied (poses and time frame) practice is for me physically, mentally, spiritually and emotionally. This is why I want to achieve it again. But I am not going to get it by comparing myself to how I used to be. I am not that woman anymore. That woman was in a different place and time, literally. I don't need to kick her to the curb, but I do need to stop comparing myself to that version of myself. It's not helpful.

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  • beequeen
    beequeen Doing 2 cheers 2017-11-13 15:35:45

    I realize that I mean this both literally AND metaphorically. I want to be climbing trees again, hanging out in branches and around trunks. But I also want to get back on the top of other things, renew some perspectives.

    I don't know if I can elaborate on this. I am not good at divulging my inner most thoughts and feelings, publicly or privately. Whenever I do that I feel like I or someone else has just ripped a piece of my skin off and my ganglia et al are hanging out for all and sundry to witness.

    I have realized that I am reacting in ways I have never reacted before. For example, being a bit oversensitive to the snark of someone I don't even like or respect. Ordinarily, that kind of thing doesn't tweak me at all. I barely even register it, let alone take it personally. Lately, it tweaks me a lot sometimes, and my ordinarily chilled out live and let live peace out yo self may fantasize about giving someone who has lobbed a snarky, bitchy comment my way a well placed kick to the larynx with my 3 inch block heels size 6 boot. "There, take that Lady Snarkalot, and while you're down there holding your larynx together allow me to shove your comments right up your tight derriere......"

    Ha ha. Just made myself laugh there. (Pic is not me, just a random Google image that made me laugh.)

    Anyway, my point being, renewed perspective, obtain, again, maintain, again. That reactionary side of me is foreign. I want to figure out why its getting triggered and address it. I like the chilled out me better than the one who fantasizes about kicking people in the throat...................

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  • beequeen
    beequeen Doing 5 cheers 2017-09-19 20:01:34

    The ENTS are my peeps, yo.

    Because I miss climbing trees.....................I was that wild child, climbing high, jumping from limb to limb, hanging from them, hugging trunks and branches like old pals. My first "husband" was a wide branch of a big ol' apple tree. I used to sling my arm around that branch as casual as around a lover's shoulder. I even kissed the bark. You know, come to think of it, I am still looking for a big tree trunk of a man.................jeeze......poor guy. He is going to have to measure up to an apple tree. Well, I suppose it could be worse.

    Not me in the pic. Random web pic. I just liked her verve and sass.

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