I want to do this!

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  • aenea
    aenea Done 6 cheers 2017-06-22 02:19:05

    I turn 40 on Saturday. I'm not sure how I feel about this.

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    • ExplorerSoul
      ExplorerSoul 0 cheers 2017-06-22 03:30:44

      @aenea What are some of your thoughts?

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      • aenea
        aenea Done 1 cheers 2017-06-22 04:16:10

        @ExplorerSoul age is just a number but physiologically there are certain unavoidable aspects to it that I'm not all that excited about. My biological clock is definitely sounding the alarm too now that we've decided to have a second child. Career and health wise I'm not where I want to be and it's easy for me to get stressed and depressed about it.

        My thirties were rough however, so there's something to be said for not only surviving them but also coming out on top with a healthy family who love and support me. Things will be ok. I just have to take heart in what I have.

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    • bob1623
      bob1623 Doing 0 cheers 2017-06-22 11:43:42

      @aenea Happy Birthday. I hope you have a great day and celebration.

      How old do you feel? And how old do you think?

      As one who has been there (and it was a while ago) don't think about it too much, you will have another birthday next year.

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      • aenea
        aenea Done 2 cheers 2017-06-22 17:34:16

        @bob1623 thanks :)

        I feel ageless but also tired and haunted. If that makes sense. And I think I could do many things if I just had more time. How do you gage how old you think?

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        • bob1623
          bob1623 Doing 0 cheers 2017-06-23 02:06:46

          @aenea I think I do understand. I don't know how old I feel. I think I feel younger than I am. I know I think younger because age group peers think old people stuff. Stuff I never think about.

          Maybe that;s how you gauge it. How old are the people who think the way you do?

          That haunted feeling, I do understand that.

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          • aenea
            aenea Done 1 cheers 2017-06-23 15:33:37

            @bob1623 interesting perspective. My closest friends have invariably been younger than me, even in grade school. I have always struggled to identify with my same age peer group, feeling strangely intimidated and out of place. As if everyone knows way more than me and I must just be immature or mentally stunted or something (which I'm 99% certain isn't the case, and most likely just stems from low self esteem issues).

            Add to that that I had a child while my peers were still largely focusing on school and my isolation feels complete. Usually when people learn that I'm a mom they're shocked and scandalized and their whole perception of and behavior towards me changes. Not sure if that's an age thing or something else though.

            Have you heard much of Band of Horses? I know you're a music aficionado. Haunted has me thinking of their cease to begin album.

            Band of Horses - Is There a Ghost [OFFICIAL VIDEO]
            Subscribe To Sub Pop's YouTube Channel http://www.youtube.com/user/subpoprecords "Is There a Ghost" from the Band Of Horses 10/09/07album, Cease To Begin iTu...
            YouTube
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            • bob1623
              bob1623 Doing 1 cheers 2017-06-23 17:41:25

              @aenea I'm sure having a child young puts you at a disadvantage, especially when you are the only one. But children do have a way of keeping you young. You have to think young and be in shape to keep up with them.

              Enjoy your 40th birthday. To me, that is still young. You have a lot of living to do. Do things a 20 or 30 year old does. Or just enjoy doing what you do.

              And yes, I do know Band of Horses. they have some excellent music. Cease to Begin is a great album. I'm listening to it now in your honor.

              Is there anything I can do make you smile?

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              • aenea
                aenea Done 0 cheers 2017-06-24 13:34:56

                @bob1623 just keep on living life to the fullest like you and so many other 43ers always do. Knowing that there are people out there doing that makes me happy.

                Maybe take a scenic bike route today around your town. πŸ™‚. And enjoy the ride, wherever it takes you.

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    • qwertygal
      qwertygal 1 cheers 2017-06-23 07:36:46

      @bob1623

      Happy Birthday!!

      I think you should feel happy. 40 is a great age to be. When I turned 40, I freaked out. I'd kill to be 40 again.

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  • aenea
    aenea Done 1 cheers 2017-06-22 02:18:29

    Happy Solstice! β˜€οΈ

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  • hopeslife
    hopeslife Doing 1 cheers 2017-06-20 13:36:54

    I'm back! I took a long break from 43T, (some of that was unintentional, and some of it was because of headaches and other things going on at the time. Well now break is over.

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  • bob1623
    bob1623 Doing 6 cheers 2017-06-12 13:12:02

    Perspective

    I had a colonoscopy last week. I guess this is kind of routine now, but mine found a couple things. The doctor pulled out one polyp, but found another "mass". He was quite concerned about this "mass"as it clearly was not right. So samples were sent for biopsy. He put a rush on these, that was his level of concern.

    I got the results a few days later and all were benign. I still have to have surgery to have this mass removed, but right now I look OK. I seem to have dodged a bullet?

    Thing is, it was not even an hour after getting these results that i got a text from a friend. Another mutual friend was driving, was rear ended by a truck, and killed instantly. She was young, 45, and a great person. A assistant professor of nursing, works with at-risk youth, and a nurse practitioner. She had many degrees and used them all. Married with 2 young kids. Athlete, runner and cyclist who completed a full Ironman a full years ago. It is so sad.

    Hearing this makes me feel a bit guilty. Why do I go on when someone so needed in this world is taken? What makes me dodge this bullet? I am no one special.

    I don't think I could ever fill Ellen's shoes, but I think I just have to be a decent person and keep trying to do good things. Maybe it is simply not be a jerk. But I have this sadness. The world is not fair.

    It is just not fair

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  • fredvoorhies
    fredvoorhies Doing 1 cheers 2017-05-20 04:50:17

    i would like some advice and i really have no idea what to do i just found a friend is in detox. i don't know which 1 or what for. Should i be mad because he felt he couldn't trust me and he stole some money or happy that's he getting help? Also how do you think i should handle when he gets out? I'm not looking for anything specific. I really have no idea because i never though this would happen. Any advice wud be great.

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  • aenea
    aenea Done 0 cheers 2017-05-10 20:35:27

    I've done this!


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  • fredvoorhies
    fredvoorhies Doing 1 cheers 2017-05-08 16:07:25

    the doctor wants me to go back on the medicine that can affect my stomach for my skin i'm hoping she can find something else. i already have too many digestive problems☹

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  • aenea
    aenea Done 7 cheers 2017-05-05 00:58:40

    Sushi is yummy.

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  • aenea
    aenea Done 5 cheers 2017-05-04 19:59:31

    May the fourth be with you.

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  • aenea
    aenea Done 2 cheers 2017-05-02 22:59:22

    Hacksaw ridge is worth the watch.

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