I want to do this!

Get married

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1 item in album:
  • morningsun
    morningsun Doing 1 cheers 2017-08-15 16:44:22

    I am not doing this now. But I want to remind myself to work on my relationship in order to (hopefully) get there

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  • rainbowssparks
    rainbowssparks Doing 3 cheers 2017-08-14 17:56:04

    This is going steadily. There are still so many things to take care of, slowely but surely we're moving ahead. The date is settled, the food is ordered. I got my dress, now I have to find a hairdresser and we need to contact a photographer. So many things to take care of!

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  • rikkib143
    rikkib143 Done 2 cheers 2017-08-14 01:17:44

    I've done this!


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  • fourohforum
    fourohforum Done 1 cheers 2017-07-05 02:39:13

    I've done this!


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  • rainbowssparks
    rainbowssparks Doing 15 cheers 2017-06-22 17:55:57

    It appears we are going to do this. Way earlier than we both thought, but it seems like the time is now. So I'm already moving the government to get the papers in order, he contacted a lawyer regarding the pre-nup. The official part is moving steadily, as for the party we have to make a budget. I already figured out that everything that says wedding is at least twice as expensive as normal. Also already annoyed with dresses before I even set foot in a shop. I want a short dress with high neckline and short sleeves... undoable here. The only dresses I like are Chinese, but the webshops are dodgy. Not everything from China is crap, but I don't know how to spot the difference.

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    • spatz
      spatz 2 cheers 2017-06-22 19:56:02

      @rainbowssparks Congratulations! Hope you'll be having a wonderful time together!
      You're right, the moment you say wedding the prices go up πŸ˜€. That's a pity about the dresses - working with a seamstress to make a copy of one of the dresse you like is a possibility, perhaps?

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      • rainbowssparks
        rainbowssparks Doing 3 cheers 2017-06-22 20:08:06

        @spatz Thank you! Yes it is crazy, I just don't want to spend a 1000 euros on a dress. Not sure how expensive a seamstress would be? To be honest, most of those expensive dresses are also made in China nowadays, but how do I recognize a good Chinese tailor? I shall consult google!

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    • WingedThing
      WingedThing 3 cheers 2017-07-09 14:03:39

      @rainbowssparks CONGRATS!!!!!! I'm so happy for you!!

      I got married last year and I made my bouquets out of paper. It cost me less than $100 for 9 bouquets, plus all the corsages, boutonnieres, and some decorations. I got so many compliments on them, too. Much cheaper than a florist. My sister used silk flowers. My friend made her own cake. Another friend rented an air bnb instead of a wedding hall. If you get creative, there are so many ways to have an awesome wedding without going the typical, expensive route.

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      • rainbowssparks
        rainbowssparks Doing 2 cheers 2017-07-09 14:30:51

        @WingedThing Thank you! A (very late) congrats to you too! Yes there are many ways to 'cheapen it up', I like that you made the bouquets out of flowers, very creative. I'm thinking of skipping the flowers alltogether and having a bunch of ballons as my bridal bouquet, also as decorations, maybe confetti and what else. I haven't looked much into decorations yet, as the big things need to be planned first, papers, dress, location. Working on it slowly, it involves so much planning!

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  • flutter
    flutter Doing 0 cheers 2017-05-05 09:31:22

    https://youtu.be/Pgmx7z49OEk?t=1m6s

    Jennifer Lopez - Ain't Your Mama
    Ain't Your Mama available on: iTunes: http://smarturl.it/AintYourMama Spotify: http://smarturl.it/AintYourMama_Spfy Amazon mp3: http://smarturl.it/AintYourMa...
    YouTube
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  • heyloriann
    heyloriann Done 0 cheers 2017-04-22 13:42:00

    I've done this!


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  • sahlavit
    sahlavit 4 cheers 2017-04-06 12:07:47

    When you are in a long term relationship, what change does marriage bring to your life?
    Do people feel psychologically more committed to each other after getting married?
    I wonder...

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    • rainbowssparks
      rainbowssparks Doing 2 cheers 2017-04-06 12:21:21

      @sahlavit For me the reason I want to get married at some point is just that the paperwork is then finalized. It is just an easy way to make sure everything is ok when something would happen to me and I would die. My boyfriend would inherit whatever we have built together. To me love is not just about the here and now, but also about making sure the person you love is ok when you are not there anymore. To make sure they are not suddenly in debt, or have to leave the house they live in because it was on my name and my family inherits it. I've seen this happen more than once, that the family of the deceased person doesn't like the boy-/girlfriend and basically kicks them out of the house he/she has lived in the past 20 years.

      So basically it is a form of security that I want to give the other, but I also demand myself. If you want to be with me, you have to give me that security at one point. And I actually prefer the type of marriage that we keep everything seperate, in case there will ever be a divorce we go with whatever we took into the marriage, but in the case of death the other is the one who inherits.

      For me that is the only reason, I would not love the other person more once I'm married. I also don't need to have a wedding, I just want that paper signed.

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    • wyverndust
      wyverndust 7 cheers 2017-04-06 14:31:17

      @sahlavit I have been committed to my boyfriend for over 8 years. I don't know if marriage would be better for us in regard to taxes, healthcare, or our commitment. Both of us are divorced, so we both know what it was like to be in failed marriages. In my opinion, the only advantage to being married would be if one of us died, it would simplify the property transfer to the other partner. Looks like I agree with @rainbowssparks

      However, if I ever get married, I want the ceremony to be simple at home with our families and loved ones. No fancy dress (anyone invited is welcome to dress however they wish) and we would have food that we all prepared and a nice family gathering to celebrate. I always wanted a wedding like that.

      My boyfriend does not agree with my plans for a wedding and never wants to have any family gathering ever. He did ask me to marry him shortly after we met. I wasn't ready. This was probably my one chance to marry, and I am glad that I didn't do it at that time. Although now I would say yes if he asked again. I don't think I will ever marry again, unless we decide to live in his home country. It would be advantageous for me to be already married to him when we move there, for immigration purposes.

      Marriage to me is something foreign that exists outside of my relationship. Marriage is part of a society that I don't fit into. I don't need anything outside of us to have us. My boyfriend recently said he does not want to marry me because he does not want to divorce me. This bothers me, but I understand his meaning and the statistics about half of all marriages ending in divorce.

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    • WingedThing
      WingedThing 3 cheers 2017-07-11 11:10:40

      @sahlavit We get a better tax return and better health insurance. That's the main difference. Other than that, nothing else changed. We were madly in love before marriage and we're still madly in love now that we're married.

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    • sabryn
      sabryn 7 cheers 2017-07-12 13:56:21

      @sahlavit For me and R, it's mostly a legal matter. We have been together for 10 years and have two kids - we're not going anywhere. But there are a lot of things that would be simpler if we were married - taxes and insurance and such. Plus, I will be taking the same last name as our kids (who have both his last name and mine), thus ending a tremendous amount of confusion on the part of pretty much everybody. (I had no idea it was such a mind-blowing concept for the kids to have two last names.)

      We are in the process of planning a wedding, but it's mostly just an excuse for us to throw a party. Our 10th anniversary passed without much fanfare; with the wedding, we get rings, cool new duds, and cake, plus we'll get to see some friends who live in other cities. Most importantly (to me, at least), we'll finally get to take a family vacation that doesn't involve a sick or dying relative. (Because yes, we're taking the kids on our honeymoon. They go with us everywhere.)

      So no, we don't think marriage is crucial. We got this far without it, at any rate. And I'm divorced, so obviously I'm well aware that a marriage license is no guarantee. But there are benefits to marrying, so we're gonna do it anyway.

      Oh, and I proposed to him. ;)

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      • ExplorerSoul
        ExplorerSoul 0 cheers 2017-07-12 18:25:13

        @sabryn I'd love to hear how you proposed if you feel comfortable sharing.

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        • sabryn
          sabryn 1 cheers 2017-07-14 13:15:05

          @ExplorerSoul It was a bit more anticlimactic than I'd planned. We've talked about getting married for years, and even started planning the wedding a few years back. Then we decided to have Kai, and put the wedding on the back burner. So I wanted a cute, sentimental way to let him know I was ready to start planning again.

          Last year for our anniversary, I got him this little Scrabble tile from Etsy and put it in a ring box. We were going out on a date (we do not get date nights, so a date for us is a huge deal), and I was going to give it to him after dinner. Except he gave me my present (I've forgotten what it was! Aren't I awful? Probably a book or a movie or something...) while we were getting ready. Just a "oh, here you go - have a present." Well, I couldn't say, "thanks - but you can't have yours yet" without seeming mean, so I gave him the tile as we sat on the bed, half dressed, me wearing my big granny-panty Spanx to try to suck in my baby gut. Romantic, huh?

          But we had a great time on our date, so that took a little of the sting out of my derailed proposal.

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      • sahlavit
        sahlavit 1 cheers 2017-07-13 08:29:17

        @sabryn Oh! Planning a wedding must be fun! Also it is cool for the kids to attend their parents wedding.
        My friend once told me she showed her wedding video to her then 5 year old daughter and the daughter started crying because mom looked so beautiful and she wasn't invited.

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        • sabryn
          sabryn 1 cheers 2017-07-14 13:19:01

          @sahlavit My daughter is going to be my maid of honor. (And flower girl and ring bearer, she says. She's a one-stop wedding attendant.) She is the same way - maybe it's a 5-year-old thing? - as your friend's daughter; she doesn't quite get that there was a time in my life when she wasn't. She is particularly confused by the fact that Mommy was married before she met Daddy (because of course Mommy and Daddy have been together FOREVER). She is so excited to be in the wedding, and go on vacation afterwards. She tells people it's her wedding. I've drawn the line at her inviting her classmates, though...the guest list is tight as is. :)

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          • aenea
            aenea 1 cheers 2017-07-23 01:31:55

            @sabryn my daughter was my one-stop wedding attendant at our March wedding. it worked out wonderfully - I'm sure she'll do a great job. πŸ™‚

            My husband and I had been together for several years before tying the knot and pretty much did it for the convenience as well. best of luck with the wedding planning and the event itself!

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  • herwitsend
    herwitsend Done 3 cheers 2017-03-26 22:47:51

    I've done this!


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  • navidrazzaghkarimi
    navidrazzaghkarimi Doing 0 cheers 2017-03-10 20:30:13

    I don't know who to marry

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