I want to do this!

Get married

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  • rainbowssparks
    rainbowssparks Doing 7 cheers 2017-06-22 17:55:57

    It appears we are going to do this. Way earlier than we both thought, but it seems like the time is now. So I'm already moving the government to get the papers in order, he contacted a lawyer regarding the pre-nup. The official part is moving steadily, as for the party we have to make a budget. I already figured out that everything that says wedding is at least twice as expensive as normal. Also already annoyed with dresses before I even set foot in a shop. I want a short dress with high neckline and short sleeves... undoable here. The only dresses I like are Chinese, but the webshops are dodgy. Not everything from China is crap, but I don't know how to spot the difference.

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    • spatz
      spatz 2 cheers 2017-06-22 19:56:02

      @rainbowssparks Congratulations! Hope you'll be having a wonderful time together!
      You're right, the moment you say wedding the prices go up πŸ˜€. That's a pity about the dresses - working with a seamstress to make a copy of one of the dresse you like is a possibility, perhaps?

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      • rainbowssparks
        rainbowssparks Doing 1 cheers 2017-06-22 20:08:06

        @spatz Thank you! Yes it is crazy, I just don't want to spend a 1000 euros on a dress. Not sure how expensive a seamstress would be? To be honest, most of those expensive dresses are also made in China nowadays, but how do I recognize a good Chinese tailor? I shall consult google!

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    • Queen Purrs Like A Kitten
      Queen Purrs Like A Kitten 2 cheers 2017-06-23 00:12:35

      @rainbowssparks my daughter and her friend both organised the bridal party dresses for their weddings from ebay and had success, its worth a try and so MUCH cheaper. Also these days you could suggest to yur bridal party the colour you want and let them buy a dress with your approval, that way they may be more inclined to wear it again afterwards, my daughter's bridesmaid did that and Ive seen her in that dress again a few times.
      Another saving you could make is get your wedding cake plain in whatever colour, dont say its a wedding cake say its a birthday cake, and then you or someone else put the decorative touches on it. Again, my daughter who had a rustic theme got a very plain two layered cake and we decorated (one of my jobs!) with fresh flowers, called Gyp or babys breath. It was so pretty. The more you can do yourself or out source to friends whom Im sure would be honoured to help, the more money you can save. I wish I lived close to you Id help! Bargain/Weddings and or Parties are my forte!

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      • rainbowssparks
        rainbowssparks Doing 1 cheers 2017-06-23 10:22:54

        @Queen Purrs Like A Kitten Very good tips! Mentioning wedding anywhere will be a no go until it is over haha. We are actually even torn between having a party in his parents backyard (with help from them regarding food etc.), or just making this our day, having no real party but to spend some more money on a trip/honeymoon afterwards. There is so much to decide still! If we will go for the garden party the cake will probably be a stack of donuts, that man of mine loves donuts more than Homer Simpson does. It is going to be really informal all, so I think that already saves money and trouble. We want to really make it match our personalities and not do things because they are common to do on marriages.

        Thanks for the offer to help! That is so sweet, this community on here is so great!

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  • flutter
    flutter Doing 0 cheers 2017-05-05 09:31:22

    https://youtu.be/Pgmx7z49OEk?t=1m6s

    Jennifer Lopez - Ain't Your Mama
    Ain't Your Mama available on: iTunes: http://smarturl.it/AintYourMama Spotify: http://smarturl.it/AintYourMama_Spfy Amazon mp3: http://smarturl.it/AintYourMa...
    YouTube
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  • heyloriann
    heyloriann Done 0 cheers 2017-04-22 13:42:00

    I've done this!


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  • sahlavit
    sahlavit 2 cheers 2017-04-06 12:07:47

    When you are in a long term relationship, what change does marriage bring to your life?
    Do people feel psychologically more committed to each other after getting married?
    I wonder...

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    • rainbowssparks
      rainbowssparks Doing 2 cheers 2017-04-06 12:21:21

      @sahlavit For me the reason I want to get married at some point is just that the paperwork is then finalized. It is just an easy way to make sure everything is ok when something would happen to me and I would die. My boyfriend would inherit whatever we have built together. To me love is not just about the here and now, but also about making sure the person you love is ok when you are not there anymore. To make sure they are not suddenly in debt, or have to leave the house they live in because it was on my name and my family inherits it. I've seen this happen more than once, that the family of the deceased person doesn't like the boy-/girlfriend and basically kicks them out of the house he/she has lived in the past 20 years.

      So basically it is a form of security that I want to give the other, but I also demand myself. If you want to be with me, you have to give me that security at one point. And I actually prefer the type of marriage that we keep everything seperate, in case there will ever be a divorce we go with whatever we took into the marriage, but in the case of death the other is the one who inherits.

      For me that is the only reason, I would not love the other person more once I'm married. I also don't need to have a wedding, I just want that paper signed.

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    • wyverndust
      wyverndust 1 cheers 2017-04-06 14:31:17

      @sahlavit I have been committed to my boyfriend for over 8 years. I don't know if marriage would be better for us in regard to taxes, healthcare, or our commitment. Both of us are divorced, so we both know what it was like to be in failed marriages. In my opinion, the only advantage to being married would be if one of us died, it would simplify the property transfer to the other partner. Looks like I agree with @rainbowssparks

      However, if I ever get married, I want the ceremony to be simple at home with our families and loved ones. No fancy dress (anyone invited is welcome to dress however they wish) and we would have food that we all prepared and a nice family gathering to celebrate. I always wanted a wedding like that.

      My boyfriend does not agree with my plans for a wedding and never wants to have any family gathering ever. He did ask me to marry him shortly after we met. I wasn't ready. This was probably my one chance to marry, and I am glad that I didn't do it at that time. Although now I would say yes if he asked again. I don't think I will ever marry again, unless we decide to live in his home country. It would be advantageous for me to be already married to him when we move there, for immigration purposes.

      Marriage to me is something foreign that exists outside of my relationship. Marriage is part of a society that I don't fit into. I don't need anything outside of us to have us. My boyfriend recently said he does not want to marry me because he does not want to divorce me. This bothers me, but I understand his meaning and the statistics about half of all marriages ending in divorce.

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  • herwitsend
    herwitsend Done 3 cheers 2017-03-26 22:47:51

    I've done this!


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  • navidrazzaghkarimi
    navidrazzaghkarimi Doing 0 cheers 2017-03-10 20:30:13

    I don't know who to marry

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  • mimi11
    mimi11 Doing 3 cheers 2017-03-07 07:56:47

    i have a simple dream 🙂 meet a good man to get marriage . the man who is responsibility with family , has a warm heart and never cheating

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