Believe in something...

i’ve doubted everything except that their are experiences (I can’t even say that “I” have experiences), and I don’t think that counts. Science tells us that we deceive ourselves all the time. I’ve realized that a little self deception might be a good thing…. Also the questioning has to stop sometime, because the truth really doesn’t matter that much. As long as you can function what you believe is your own business.

Transhumanism and the singularity. ‘Nuff said.

i am not a christian… nor am i seeking any other religion to become a part of… i am looking for something real to believe in…

not sure what to believe in. i know not god, not politicians.
i’ll keep trying on this one.

“You must be the change you wish to see in the world.”
- Mahatma Gandhi

I walked a hopeless man down grey cernent halls;
above and below us, only silence.
Waiting in the corners of curling barbed wire,
the sparrows stood sentinel.
Stilling their wings, watching the count
of borrowed souls dropping time.

cbt

Couldn’t I just meet you
for a beer or a cup of coffee
and have the thought of your touch
leave me feeling satisfied?

But loving is an end,
and I will have the reasons,
each time I touch your face
in imaginary conversations.

Those dirty secrets
between the sheets
i wish
I had something to tell.

I can play the shapes
that frame my guilty conscience
my dreams have surpassed
innocent possibilities. . .

this is the most important thing to find in life, and i dont just mean religion(even though i would like that too) i want to find someone to believe in also FULLY and thats really hard to come by and if you happen too well your really lucky.

Finally. Finally.
Finally I know.
Jesus is MY love, MY God,
I’m not afraid to say it’s so.

I can’t let myself beleive in God because the person that was most horrible to me in life was my father, a supposedly born again Christian, he use to get shit faced and come home and wake me up at 3am and call me a cunt, whore, and so on and we are not even at the tip of the iceberg. How can someone so full of God’s love treat the one’s they are suppose to care the most for so badly? And if God has created us why is he not around? Is he just up there watching his little pawns suffer a life of never ending pain and missery until we die, what kind of God takes plessure in that? And did god really think out how every aspect of everything will work, I am very scientifical and I cannot beleive that God thought up every aspect of our circulatory system or how are bodies attack and distroy an infection. It seems much more probable to me that these processes have developed after billions of years of exposure to the environment. I mean look at how we evolve now, Prostitutes in Russia have become immune to the human immunodefeciency virus, are you telling me that God decided that it was time for some hookers to just suddenly build up a resistance? I feel empty inside without something to beleive in, but what I have been told is mythical and illogical. I just don’t know, I want to do good for the world I live in, but how can I if I feel empty. Will this emptiness prevent me from doing the great and bold things for which I long? I don’t know, and if you have read this, I am terribly sorry for the spelling, I know I need to work on that :)