open my email without being afraid

...yesterday after I opened an especially difficult email from my boss. I did it by accident, so I don’t feel like I earned it exactly, but it was probably a step, however unwilling.

.... getting better; opening email from my boss without quite as much hesitation. I’m not sure if that’s the meds, but I’m glad for it, regardless.

I’m rereading that email I was afraid of, to get more mileage out of it; I read an email I was afraid of from a person who’s email I’m afraid to read now, and so I inoculate myself against that person, to some degree.

Or… I just spent time being overly analytical.

Got an email read that I needed to read. Was offered a delicious dessert if I did, and I almost didn’t out of spite. But I realized that a good idea doesn’t get less good just because you don’t like where the idea came from.

... I had two important emails to read, and one from a friend. I had to get my brother to read the first two, so I could find out the gist of them. Way embarrassing.

I worked on some basic “positive reinforcement” stuff to get over my fear, but I think it’s going to take more than one day’s work. (obviously)

I ended up reading one because I kept all three emails open while I did something else, and I accidentally read the most important one. So I dealt with the most important part, which is good, even if I did it by accident.

... I was afraid to open my email, for whatever reason. For almost 6 months, I hardly checked my email because I got too stressed out. I currently have one email that I’m avoiding because of fear, and there are probably others that I’m not as conscious about. I guess this is related to the anxiety/panic stuff, so hopefully this will go away when that does.