not be such a recluse.

Though I don’t often feel lonely, I do sometimes, and it was nice to get an invite… and I fully intended to go… but by the time I had to leave the house, I got anxious and had to cancel. Sigh…

Skipping out on my work’s Open Studio today because I don’t have to work, so it would be entirely social.
I’m getting anxious thinking about it. I’m almost positive I’ll skip it, but I’ll finish getting dressed just in case.

I had every excuse not to go, or at least my type of excuses: I was sick, I barely know the woman, and there was (literally) a hurricane. It was akward to say the least. Most people remarked on how little they see me, then went silent.
It was nice, though, to see the girl open my gift. It was handmade and she loved it. So often I’ve “sent the gift along” without showing up myself… it’s kind of selfish to think that way, but it was probably the best part of the day.

The less I go out, the less I want to… and so on.
Some of my friends get it and some don’t. I like the ones that do, obviously because they pander to my fears, not even expecting me to show up anywhere, but I also feel like I miss out on alot and make enemies out of people who may take it personally.