overcome anxiety and depression

I’m still doing well. I believe that I will always have some anxiety. The medication that I have taken for almost two years now seems to keep me stable most of the time. I was worried about being taken off of it the last time I had a checkup at the doctor, but she assured me that she would not take me off of it as long as I felt I needed it. I can’t imagine going back to the way I felt before medicine. I don’t know how I lived like that or how anyone could stand being around me. I guess they really cared a lot to put up with my behavior. I’m not ready to mark this as DONE, but I do feel like I have made great progress in the past two years.

Well, I made it through another holiday season and am still marginally sane. This year wasn’t that bad actually. Less stress than I’ve had in awhile. The Christmas bonus helped relieve a lot of the money anxiety. This year has gotten off to a good start and I hope it stays that way.

I’ve really been doing well lately. I still get stressed out, I just don’t go crazy about things as much as I used to. I can really see how over time I have been getting better and better. I hope to continue on this path.

Today wasn’t so good. I was really stressed out over getting my photos mounted and dropped off for the State Fair. There were a few tears and some general craziness on my part, but I calmed down after a bit. I still don’t feel all together. i’m Better, but not great. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that I have to go back to work tomorrow.

Things have been a little easier lately. I had a nice vacation and will be taking another in a couple of weeks. Money is still an issue, but I have been trying hard not to worry about things too much and just make sure all the bills get paid on time. This helps relieve some of my anxiety if I just relax a bit.

I’m still worried about money. It’s as bad as usual if not worse. I just want to scream. I wouldn’t have as many problems if I could get the money problems straightened out. I want to get caught up on all of my bills and not have to worry about being short before payday. I hate living paycheck to paycheck. I’m am to old to be doing this shit.

Money stress has got to be the worst kind of stress around. This is the stressor that really does me in. I start worrying about money and I feel like I’m on the verge of an anxiety attack. Even with my meds I feel this way sometimes. I wish I had no problems with money. I feel like most of my problems stem from it. Money stress literally makes me sick.

I’ve been doing pretty good lately. No out of control mood swings, no panic attacks, not a lot of bitchiness. My husband told me a few weeks ago that he could really tell a difference between how I am now and how I was. He said that I seem happier these days. I still have bad days every now and then, but so does everyone. I’m not ready to get rid of the meds yet and I don’t know when I’ll ever be ready. I feel like the meds have made all of the changes in me and I’m afraid if I get off of them I’ll go back to the way I was. I don’t want to ever be like that again.

I guess everybody has a bad day now and then. Today was my turn. I don’t know if this should go under this goal, but I just needed to write about my crappy day. I did kind of feel like I used to before the meds. I was just angry at everything and everybody today. First of all, I just didn’t want to get up this morning. Then the cash count was off $5 and I just couldn’t find it and finally just said screw it and wrote the owner a note about how I had counted and recounted, but it wasn’t there. It wasn’t my fault because I didn’t work yesterday. Anyway, after that the customers just seemed bitchy all day and that made me bitchy. I’m actually too tired and cranky to write anymore tonight.

The holidays went smoothly this year. Work even seemed less stressful. I couldn’t drink on New Year’s because of my medicine, so I got to play designated driver for the first time and I got to be the bartender because everybody else was too drunk to pour their own drinks. I have always wanted to be a bartender. At least I got to have fun making drinks and watching everybody else look stupid. Sorry, I went way off topic. Anyway, I have never felt more relaxed with my life before. I feel like I’m living my life for the first time in years.