thechalantlife

i really want to learn how to scream. i’m obsessed with the sound and the passion behind it.

it’s my birthday in thirty minutes. i’m spending it completely alone. boyfriend is taking a break. parents are at work. friends are working or on vacation. i hate birthdays.

so maybe one day i’ll get a serious job; i’ll learn responsibility; i’ll live conservatively.

i don’t deny that one day, that will be me. in fact, i hope it is. but i never want to lose sight of the underground, the little things, and the way it feels to sit outside at night with friends, looking at the stars or the city lights and knowing that it’s possible to do anything.

i want to eventually get married, like most people. i know who i want to marry. and it really doesn’t matter when it happens. tomorrow or in 5 years. i don’t think our relationship depends on a “binding contract”... i’m bound to him by a willing commitment. i don’t need a ceremony or certificate right now. the time we spend together and the notes we write each other are enough for me. however when we do get married, i know who my bridesmaids will be, 3 of my best and oldest friends and probably his two sisters. and maybe another friend, whoever i stay in touch. i don’t know, i feel that marriage is kind of far off for now though. at least another two years or more.

i’m hopefully moving out into the city by next fall and i really want to start a band with friends. i’m not totally sure i even want to scream for it, but it would be nice to be able to. i love the sound of a good screamer. my favorites are probably spencer of underoath, george from alexisonfire, the guy from scary kids scaring kids, and on a more underground level, the screamer from eyes set to kill.