be a great girlfriend

Being a great girlfriend is something that comes from being a godly girlfriend, and being a godly girlfriend is something that follows from being a godly person in all areas.

I’m writing this to remind myself when I feel like being a mean girlfriend.
My parents fight horribly and continually. They never act like they love eachother and they are always cruel to each other.
When they started going at it yesterday, my sweet bf turns my face towards him in the yelling and smiles at me and tells me he loves me, and tells me to go to a happy place.
He always tries to get them to make up.
this weekend, he took me aside to pray for them.
He’s amazing.
He also encouraged me to tell the truth on a small matter.

the more I try to change, the worse I become.
I keep trying to figure out what typical males want and apply it to my boyfriend.
I learned this weekend that that is demeaning.
Treat him like an individual, unique man..because he is.
Make it personal.
I figured out what my boyfriend wants in a girlfriend;
ME!!!
He doesn’t want to change me. He doesn’t want me to perform better. He wants me in all my weakness, and all my strength.
He really loves me for who I am. :D
This is mind-blowing.

So what I’ve learned this week about being a great girlfriend:
1. Don’t fake it
2. Don’t force it
3. Don’t underestimate your boyfriend; have high standards for him and always expect the best from him.
He loves me and will rise to meet my expectations if I don’t lower them to accept less than who he really is.
4. Realize that your parent’s relationship isn’t YOUR relationship and you aren’t doomed to be the sequel to their horror story.

10. She’s independent

No one wants a girlfriend they have to baby-sit. Once in a while, like if she’s had a rough day at work, it’s great to be her shoulder to cry on, but if she can’t seem to function without you and is constantly after you, she will eventually make you feel like you’re suffocating, which is a surefire way to get you running out the nearest exit.

On the other hand, if she has her very own personality and opinions, can stand on her own two feet, both financially and emotionally, and is able to enjoy time away from you - while still missing you, of course - then she must be a great
girlfriend.

9. She’s intelligent

I hate to be the one to tell you this, but the bimbo routine gets real old, real fast. A woman who can meet you at an intellectual level is a total turn-on. Instead of being the one in total control, you’ll find yourself trying to figure out what she’s really thinking behind those glazed eyes of hers—or if she’s actually thinking at all.

An intelligent woman will constantly surprise you and keep you on your toes. She won’t let you get bored of her. Besides, it’s nice to have something to talk about between all that chandelier-hanging sex.

8. She’s sexual

While we’re on the topic, a great girlfriend has to be sexually compatible with you. For instance, if you’re into S&M and she’s more the “fluffy lingerie” type, that’s a problem. The two of you have to be on the same page—or, at least, she has to be willing to wear leather and use a whip from time to time.

Of course, this doesn’t imply that she has to know all the right moves straight away; it simply means that you and she have an undeniable attraction towards each other, and are able to communicate your desires verbally (or with physical cues). It is important that you please each other in the bedroom, or on top of the dryer—whatever the case may be.

7. She’s beautiful

I know, this one is kind of obvious, but important nonetheless. A great girlfriend will not only want to look good for you, but also for herself. She should always look her best and be well put together—matching lingerie is a definite plus.

You have to be proud to have her on your arm and enjoy the sight of her in any light. And this doesn’t mean that she has to be a Heidi Klum clone. Remember that beauty is in the eye of the beholder, so if you think her full bottom or uncontrollable curls are beautiful, you’re allowed.

6. She respects you

This is a biggie. Your woman must respect you. This means that she listens to you, even if she doesn’t necessarily agree with what you’re saying. And, of course, she never tries to demean or belittle you in any way, shape, or form.

A great girlfriend won’t ever cause scenes in public or in front of your friends and family, and will always wait to discuss matters with you in private. If she respects you, chances are that she will behave in a tactful and diplomatic manner in most situations, which is definitely a good thing.

5. She lets you be a man
do not - I repeat - do not get involved with a woman who tries to get you to eat cottage cheese and fruit for breakfast and insists that you give up poker night with the guys. You will end up resenting her more than you can imagine. A good girlfriend lets you be a guy in all your glory, poker night and all. If she’s a great girlfriend, she’ll even bring you and your buddies a couple of beers and make you some of her famous sandwiches.

She has to understand that men and women are different and should allow you to be yourself. Just like you wouldn’t deprive her of going shopping with her best girlfriend, she shouldn’t expect you to give up the guys for her.

4.She’s nagless

There is nothing worse than a nag! A great girlfriend knows this and chooses her battles wisely. She knows when to speak-up and when to let it slide. You don’t want a girlfriend who will give you the heights of hell for leaving a couple of dishes in the sink occasionally.

However, if you live together and you stay out all night without calling her, and she lets you have it, then you’re setting yourself up for disaster. This is a situation that nobody would let slide—not even a great girlfriend.

3.She gets along with friends & family

A great girlfriend will not only help your mom in the kitchen, listen to your dad’s stories, and hang out with your friends, she will enjoy it. She’ll make a real effort to get to know and love the most important people in your life. And she won’t try to get you to ditch your best buds.

She’ll actually empathize with your brother’s getting dumped and suggest that you guys take him out to cheer him up. Not only that, but your friends won’t roll their eyes and moan when you mention that she’ll be joining you guys when she gets off work (yes, women like this do exist).

2.She loves you

If you have found a woman who loves you for who you really are and not who you pretend or try to be sometimes, you should definitely hang on to her. A woman who doesn’t try to change you is hard to find. Of course, everyone has their slightly annoying habits that their mate has to contend with, but if she really loves you, she will be able to cope with these.

Another way to know if she really loves you is by observing the way she looks at you and treats you on an everyday basis. If the sight of you doesn’t seem to faze her either way, and she doesn’t really seem to care about what you have to say, she’s either playing very hard to get, or sees you as just some guy. But if a surprise visit or phone call from you makes her light up, there’s no denying that she loves you.

1.She makes you want to be a better man

Stop making that face… Any man who has a great girlfriend or wife will tell you that she makes him want to be a better man. She doesn’t have to say or do anything; it just is that way. If you suddenly feel bad about how you treated your sister or find yourself trying to get your finances in order, you might want to think about your motivation for doing so. It could be love.

So in review…

Be Independent
Be Intelligent
Be Sexual* unless you’re shooting for purity. You can give off a sensual vibe without doing anything. Don’t be grossed out by sex as an idea. be excited. It doesn’t mean you have to have it.
Be Beautiful
Be Respectful
Let him be a man
Don’t be a nag
Get along with his friends and family
Love him
make him want to be a better man