make a list of 100 things that make me happy.

^hehe.

according to brandon, i look “damn good” in this picture. hahaha. wow.

^{i miss my friends !}

heath texted me for the first time in awhile last night. that was quite nice.

talking with dad about stuff that we used to do when i was little.

i talked mom into giving me her stereo awhile back & it has a bass booster on it. right now im blasting “love in an elevator” by aerosmith(:

just so you know: i typed this whole thing out on my laptop’s word processor before i put it up here just so i could include everything that i wanted to remember and it was like 4 pages long. haha.

• finally having internet & being able to talk to all of you again. i missed you ! ! ! ! ! !
• heath went camping with his family like an hour away for the fourth of july weekend and i stayed up until 2 texting him on that friday. and then 1 on that saturday.
• on july 8 i talked to brandon via text for like 3 hours. im so happy that its not awkward between us. and i think that i am totally over him. excerpt:
  me: so have you been up to anything interesting?.
  brandon: not a thing. im watching the hunted right now you?.
  me: not much…just going to shootouts & parties & hanging out w friends & stuff. mostly basketball. i have to go to little girls practice later.
  brandon: cool sounds like your having a good summer.
  me: yeah. its pretty busy. & i really like our new coach. hes getting us in shape. ive already dropped like 15 pounds & our team is doing better.
  brandon: dam your gonna look super hot :).
  me: haha. thanks(:.
  ...
  brandon: i love you twigz.
  me: ily2. (:.
  brandon: love you more.
  me: ha. suuuure you do. :P.
  brandon: how much do you love me eh.
  me: a lot.
  brandon: how much…...
  me: i dunno. a lot.
  brandon: well how do i know if you do if you dont even know.
  me: i just do. how do you know you love me?.
  brandon: cuz i do. you can always make my day better.
  me: aw thanks(: now i do feel loved.
  brandon: yep.
• earlier that week i sent a text message to the radio station that i listen to and asked them to play “addicted” by saving abel. the host texted me back and said she would play it(: so like 20 minutes later i heard her say caiti texted me and asked for the new one by saving abel and that’s coming up next. (: i love it when that happens.
• i went to a party at mary’s house on july 5 and a really cute guy from her church got my number(: then he asked if i was spending the night. i said no and he said oh…so you’re not going to church tomorrow ? he sounded rather disappointed. i said no. so ciara, who was sitting there paying attention to the whole thing, said mary ! you should pick TwigZ up for church tomorrow ! and i said it’s like way out of her way… and ciara said so ? she’s gone out of her way to pick up other people before ! and then mary said that i could spend the night if i wanted to. but i couldnt because i was going to my grandma’s the next morning. so max (the cute guy) said oh…well i’ll see you around sometime. and i made him give me a hug(: he’s a really sweet kid. and he’s going to my school next year ! yay(:
• earlier at that party sammie was talking about how i have extremely long legs and i said yeah, being tall is nice most of the time. but i hate how most of the guys are either just my height or shorter. there’s not very many that are taller! and max coughed really loud so ricky started laughing and said “oh, yeah, max is over there & he’s a monster.” and i laughed and said sorry to max. he’s like 6’-something.
• johanna was taking a picture of ricky’s butt when he was turned around and i said ricky, jo’s checking you out. and he said who doesnt ? and i said i havent and he said psh. please. then i said yet. haha. so he stood up straight and turned around so his back was to me. and i laughed. when he turned back around i said thanks, ricky, that was most enjoyable.
• i really like our new basketball coach. i’ve already dropped like 15 pounds and our whole team is in much better shape. we played the team that gave me a concussion at a shootout and we lost by 2 points (or was it 1 ?) in literally the last few seconds of the game. during the season they massacred us.
• i have 657 songs on my ipod & a list of about 100 more that i intend to download(:
• printing off a ton of pictures and putting them in frames for my room…now i look around and see all my favorite people: ruby, heath, cassey, jeremy, emma, the basketball team, our fans, amanda, mary…(:
• BANG YOUR HEAD ! METAL HEALTH WILL DRIVE YOU MAD !
• looney tunes.
• the beatles. 46 of those songs on my ipod are by them(:
• playing 20 questions with heath.
• what went on between us at the drive in…and that he stopped it. it scares me to death to think that i was willing to risk our friendship…i love him too much. :P
• uncle called me caititita or something like that awhile back. haha. go mexicans(:
• on july 9 i talked to dusty for the first time in ages. we got in a fight over who misses who more. i miss him a lot. ): he said he loves everything about summer except not seeing me. and i told him that mary’s going to invite him to her sweet 16 because i said that she had to. (:
• on july 13 i texted dusty for five hours. excerpt:
  [we were talking about doing something that weekend if i could get cassey to pick us both up]
  dusty: ok. well let me know. um, so what will we do? like idk what you had in mind.
  me: you mean if we do something this weekend? i dunno…we usually go bowling & then go out for pizza or something.
  dusty: ok. would it be cassy and her bf, and you and me?.
  me: probably…i dont know if they’re still dating or not. and last time we asked heath and ruby to go.
  dusty: ha ok thats cool. i didnt know if its like a date or something. bc if i had a date with caitlin, that would be awesome! haha.
  me: haha. well i suppose you could call it that if you like.
  dusty: haha i will ;) bc your cute.
  me: haha. well thank you(: youre pretty cute, yourself.
  dusty: why thank you:) so guess what.
  me: what?.
  dusty: remember when you got all those secret person messages you were telling me about?.
  me: yes.
  dusty: haha it was me :) but i lied when i said it wasnt…:(.
  me: ok so guess what?.
  dusty: whats that?.
  me: even though you said it wasnt you, i was pretty much positive that it was. (:.
  dusty: yeah right! haha how did you know?.
  me: i dunno. bc no other guy comes up with such sweet things to say.
  dusty: awww thank you:) your so cute:).
  ...
  dusty: God i miss you!.
  me: haha. i miss you too!.
  dusty: remember after prom? that was tons of fun! and prom too! haha.
  me: oh yes. i cant wait for that stuff this year. that was so much fun(: even tho i was being boring at after prom.
  dusty: well thats ok. i think we were all really tired. ha.
  me: yeah. very. that was so much fun tho(: i love dancing.
  dusty: i love dancing..with you! haha!.
  me: haha. yeah that was fun(: we danced together a lot.
  dusty: yes we did:) it was a great night
  ...
  dusty: nice. hey, can you send me a pic of you? bc i cant remember how pretty you are…and it makes me upset.
  me: haha. wow. i would…but i cant send pics. ): sorry.
  dusty: dang..i miss you a ton i want to see you and your cute face.
  ...
  dusty: haha. guess what?.
  me: hmm?.
  dusty: your beautiful and i love you!.
  me: (: guess what?.
  dusty: what?.
  me: youre amazing and i love you more(:.
  dusty: haha and i cant wait to see you again.
  i love talking to him…heath once spent like two hours lecturing me about how i shouldnt be self conscious because im attractive. and he’ll stay stuff that implies that he thinks im good looking…but when i talk to dusty, i feel beautiful. plus, he is incredibly good looking. cute face, hot body. (:
• you know how i have that goal where i write nothing but letters that i would never send ? and how on my blog i have lists of 100 things that i love about certain people ? well i have a notebook now that i am keeping those types of things in now. i’ll still post them on here. but i like having the notebook, too(: i wrote a bunch of quotes on the front of it.
• “tonight, tonight” by smashing pumpkins
• watching lotr. jeezer are there some hot guys in those movies(:
• making cookies
• baconators
• ents ! i love ents(:
• and minas tirith. beautiful.
• picture frames
• bottled water
• texting ruby. she gets things.
• im reading the fellowship of the ring right now. when i read it the first time, it seemed like it was hard to read. but that was years ago. it’s much easier for me to read now. but not quite as easy as the hobbit.
• gatorade
• brushed teeth & a clean face
• basketti o’s
• july 17 – spent the whole day with my emma(: we talked. a lot. she gets things.
  i was telling emma about 43t. she has one but hasnt been on it since september. i was telling her about my friend sinéad that lives in ireland and has a goal where you take 43 self pictures that dont include your face. and she is a fantastic photographer(: emma thought it sounded cool. i hope she gets back into it again b/c i think shell like it.
• july 18 – home by myself all day(:
• july 19 – my cousin’s cousin got married in vegas so he had his reception back here. it was fun(: around eleven they started telling drunk stories. hahahahahahaha. wow. funny stuff.
  i rode a dirt bike for the first time ! it was scary. i was terrified that my cousin was gonna dump me off like kyle accidentally did…did i share that story, i wonder ? hmm…
• july 20 – mama bought me new makeup. haha. hooray ! she got me the lash blast stuff from covergirl. and i am really excited about it. (: haha.
  our internet guy is coming next saturday ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! i will finally get to talk to all of you again(: i miss you so much ! last night i had a dream that i went to kroger’s for some flowers (dont ask me why….i’ve never been with anyone to buy flowers or anything.) and george was working there. haha. it was kinda a weird dream but i guess it made a little sense b/c george and flowers….but also, simon was there. haha. that didnt make much sense. but ok….
  lately i’ve been thinking about you guys a lot. it’s probably from the deprivation. haha. but ill see things and automatically think of one of my 43t friends. my grandma took me to the grocery store with her last week and they had this big buckeye section. i automatically thought of jamie. and i talked to dusty for 5 hours the other day and i thought of anne and how i wanted to tell her about it on msn….and yesterday at seth’s wedding party someone was talking about the children of the corn and i thought of uncle. haha. and i was making cookies the other day and it reminded me of how kitty taught jamie how to make a breakfast sandwich or whatever it was….haha. i probably sound either crazy or creepy. but there’s a lot of things like that that fill my day with thoughts of you guys(: i miss you.
• july 21 – stayed up until 1:30 last night texting heath. hes so funny. (:
• ruby is gonna take me to see step brothers. haha. she’s eighteen and it’s rated r so i told her that she should take me. (: it looks so funny ! every time i see the commercials i laugh my butt off.
• “ask them if it will be faster if we cut the baby’s face off of the penis so they can put it on the bunny. that’s a weird sentence.”
  i miss friends.
• give to me sweet sacred bliss your mouth was made to suck my kiss ! i heart rhcp(:
• love in an elevator, livin it up while im goin down & aerosmith(:
• anyone who reads this whole thing(: it’s long. if you do read the whole thing, please comment on it, just so i can know if anyone did. those who do deserve a cheerbomb or something.

i just uploaded this picture to myspace. me and ruby went out on thursday and tried on all kinds of retarded things while we waited for the movie to start after dinner. i got a picture comment from brandon saying that i look good, i look a lot thinner. i said thaaanks. i dont really see it, but ok. and he said i c it…and i said haha. thanks(:

weird.

there’s this thing called truth box on myspace and anyone can write something about you in it and it will be completely anonymous. someone wrote this in mine:

i think that you are a great person a wonderful friend and that you usually deserve better than the shit life dishes out to you. you are a beautiful person on the inside and out but, like myself, i think you probably worry too much about what people think about you. and you shouldnt. because you are one of the greatest effers on this hell hole we call earth and because if people wanna hate on you than you need to shut them outta your life cuz nobody needs critisism that will only make them feel bad about themselves. i believe your style is one of the coolest because its classic and original…..which are kinda opposites so thats neat-o. anyway i love you more than a pimp loves a whore and so should everyone else you hang with. =]

truth box rocks(:

• heath.
  oh how i love him(: he makes me laugh a lot.
• being home alone and blasting “nothing but a good time” so loud that i could hear it when i walked out to the road to get the mail(:
• naps
• seeing emma for the first time in ages.
• having a radio in my room again.
• ridding myself of a bad friend.
• having an awesome play with mary today at our first shootout.
• knowing that im only 15 and my life’s just begun. im old enough to know better but too young to care. i’ve just begun to have my fun(:

i feel thin right now.
and my tongue is red from tiger woods gatorade.

jeremy. oh how i love this boy !
taylor had her annual end of the year party last night and he picked me up & we blasted def leppard (♥”pour some sugar on me”♥). i love his car. it’s so comfy(: out of all the guys that im friends with, i’d say that jeremy is probably my second best. i love talking with him about stuff because he listens and he cares and he doesnt spread rumors and stuff. he took me home from the party, too. he told me that he might try to date gabby because she’s cute and nice. i said yeah, she is. he said that he doubted that he had a chance with her and when i asked why he said just because. then we were talking about erik and how he irritates jeremy to no end. he said it’s kind of like you and clark. you can be his friend, but at times you want to knock his lights out. i said no. anymore, i always want to knock clark’s lights out. then i explained about how he treats me like shit. he said well you guys used to be like this. [crosses fingers] i could’ve swore that you guys were dating at one point. and i said no. we never dated. i dont think i could date anyone who’s half as big around as me anyway. that made him laugh. he was like you’ve never had a boyfriend, right ? and i said no…isnt that sad ? and he said no, it really isnt that bad. and i said well…it just gets annoying because everyone comes up to me and says ‘how does it feel to be the last one to get a boyfriend ?’ or ‘how does it feel to have cassey beat you to get a boyfriend ?’ and it’s not like i havent liked guys before. just…no one that i’ve ever liked has asked me.
if anyone actually reads this, pay attention. this is sweet stuff:
he says well there is no doubt in my mind that someone would date you. i dont think that’s it. (i love him.) who do you like now ? and i said dusty. he said well he’ll ask you. and i said yeah…maybe. im pretty sure that he likes me. but he smokes weed. and jeremy goes he does ? and i was like yeah, but im not really sure how much he does it… and i dont even remember what he said after that. but he’s such a sweet guy. i love him. plus, i’ve known him forever.