Haha what an unexpected turn my impulsive decision making has taken. I quit my job so i will be an unemployed student completely broke…no more pretty clothes and shoes but the thing is…Today i had 3 cigarettes and i do not fell guilty at all. But hear me out today i realized why i probably started in the first place. To make myself more socially present (if that makes sense) I smoked because i met this really cool girl and we were outside chatting so i ponced. then i went back outside to ‘smoke’ but really wanted to check to see if the man i like was there and the third again was to not feel left out in a conversation. I know i am a complete LOSER hahaha but i tell you what i don’t feel guilty because i see have no real desire to smoke it is a desire to be accepted. That is after all what all us smokers secretly want , to belong, and when we smoke we do we are smokers. Alas, one day hopefully we shall all be ex-smokers.

Is it wrong to not feel guilty because you never enjoyed something? That’s how i feel i didn’t enjoy smoking today i just did it ad i didn’t feel bad because it never felt good.

Do i start counting again?