I don’t have any friends in my town either…

i think, happiness is a state of mind, the older and older i get. nothing will ever be completely, entirely perfect. there will always be imperfection. but there will be slices of wonder-fullness. happiness is about counting those small slices and letting things roll that cant be controlled.

The Feeling Good Handbook, really helped me when i was depressed. also seeing a counselor. isn’t there a university of illinois where your living. im sure they have affordable counseling services. and theres a lot or resources for those with limited healthcare to receive assistance for things. i would consider seeing a counselor. and if you are seeing one and havent seen improvement within a few months i would see someone else.

i have been there honey. i used to physically inflict pain on myself, i hated everyone and everything but mostly myself.

after taking anti-depressants for a few months, and seeing a counselor (on and off) for a few years, i can honestly say that i have beat my own depression.

and i think you can too, you just might need some help, like i did.